Skip to main content

I AM The Spud Queen



I love cooking dinner for family and friends so we tend to have a lot of dinner parties. It's funny, though, how sometimes things go unexpectedly wrong. Many moons ago we had invited Wayne and Melinda over for dinner. I had prepared steaks and twice baked potatoes and Wayne had just said how delicious everything tasted. He was about half way done with his spud and taking another bite when all of a sudden there was a CRUNCH about THIS big. Needless to say, conversation came to a screeching halt.

We all stared at him in shock. His face seemed similarly surprised and his jaws had quit moving. He very slowly began taking inventory of his teeth with his tongue. Eventually he pursed his lips together and very slowly (and with great apprehension on my part) produced a stone from his mouth. Everyone at the table stared expectantly at me so I began stammering, "....what the...well...how did THAT get in there??" (Cue the awkward silence as everyone spent some time thinking about what I might have done to fuck up dinner.)

My husband eventually cleared his throat and said, "Huh. Well, the potato must have grown around the rock. You know, in the dirt. Where potatoes grow. (::ahem::)" We all sat there in more silence contemplating that I had already baked these potatoes, cut them in half and then scraped out the insides to mash them with my cheese and whatnot. I must be a shitty masher to have not noticed the ROCK in mashed potatoes. I'm just glad he didn't lose a tooth.

Talking about potatoes has me WANTING potatoes. Did I mention that I'm on an Atkins diet? Yup. No spuds for me for a while. With or without the errant stone. Here is my current favorite spud recipe. Ya'll try it and I'll live vicariously through your carbohydrate consumptions.

Michy Potatoes:

A word to the wise, you'll need about twice as many as you think as people will try to bogart these.

In a large mixing bowl put 1/4 cup dijon mustard AND 1/4 cup course grain mustard. Add a half cup olive oil, about a tablespoon of seasoning salt and freshly ground pepper. Cut up a small onion and throw it in. Stir it well. Cut up about 4 medium sized potatoes (I leave the skin on.) and throw them in the bowl mixing well.

Roast them at 375 on a baking sheet with a rim. Stir them every 15 minutes or so until their done. It takes between 45 minutes to an hour. Add more salt if necessary.

They are really awesome. But watch out for the rock.


I'm feeding my potatoes to humor-blogs RIGHT NOW. Yummy, yummy!

Comments

Anonymous said…
ever since my second kid, i've given up potatoes. i lost all my weight with adkins and it really works! i still eat low carb all the time now for maintenance.

i have some great cheats though if you need them!!
Bee said…
Hmmm... did you make my mom's recipe because she'll try to kill our teeth.

Do people kind of gum their food now when you cook?

My first Thanksgiving dinner, the FUCKEN turkey wouldn't cook! I had a house full of people so my FIL finally grabbed it out of the oven, sliced it and set it on the table. The things was whiter than I was after realizing it was still kinda bloody!

It turns out the oven was working correctly, now my turkeys are Martha-Stewart-wishes-she were-me worthy.
Bex said…
Leigh - I'd love your cheats!!!! Atkins really does work. It's pretty amazing.

Bee - Gross! Bloody turkey.... As for people gumming their food when I cook, nope! That was 15 years ago and in another state. They don't make us register like they do the sex offenders! ;) But maybe they should....

Popular posts from this blog

The Dunkin Donuts Dilemna

I am always amazed when I leave my home in the early hours of the morning and there are people out and about. I can barely see the runners (as the sun isn't yet passed the horizon) but they are hoofing it up the hill. Don't these people know that they should be home - in bed - snuggled up???! So you can imagine my surprise when, at 6AM, I saw the impressive line at my local Dunkin Donuts. But we were heading out of town on a road trip with 3 little kids (all under 8) and a 2 month old puppy. I know what you are thinking...WHY??! We very anxiously wanted to travel for a little bit of more pain - AKA my 20th High School reunion. Maybe more on that later... As if this all weren't bad enough, my husband and I had been to a party the night before and I had just the slightest headache. So I needed coffee and like all reasonable people I went to the Dunkin Donuts because their coffee is THE BEST coffee anywhere! Starbucks can kiss my lilly white! But I digress... So I get in the l...

Light a match!

You know, people are getting so touchy these days. I just read this news story about a THIRTEEN year old kid who got arrested. When I saw the headline I thought, "Man, this country is going to hell in a hand basket. What did this criminal mastermind DO, anyway?? Did he steal a car? Get his moms attention by throwing a cleaver at her head? Sexually assault his little sibling??" Noooo.... No, this kid farted in school. And then got arrested. Apparently I went to school with a bunch of felons and didn't even know it. Besides, have you seen what they feed these kids in school lunchrooms?? And "The Man" is going to blame intestinal distress on HIM??! Let's file this under "Give Me A Fucking Break, Please." The teacher said that he was purposefully farting and therefore disrupting the class. Plus? This little fucker turned off a few computers that his friends were working on. I think it would be far more incredible if you could find me a 13 year old who...

My Marvelous Mammaries

At the risk of increasing my "Weird-O" and "Pervy" visitors ( - love you guys), I was thinking about writing about breastfeeding today. Because nobody ever tells you the Real Deal about this stuff. And that's just wrong. So. When I was pregnant with my first kid I thought to myself, "Yeah, I'll probably breastfeed her. I mean, I have the hooters and everything, so why not??" Truth be told, I thought that it would be a very natural and beautiful thing that she and I would both embrace with maternal-bondish delight. So imagine my surprise when it HURT like a MOTHER FUCKER. Every time she would latch on my toes would curl in pain. The lactation consultants were very encouraging in a cheerleader kind of way, "Yes!! That's WONDERFUL! Look at that latch - you're a genius!!!" But I didn't feel like a genius. I felt like a moron who just couldn't get the idea without going to some intensive courses on the matter. And my kid seemed...