The Blog of Bex

There must be some sort of finishing school for politicians wives. They are like Stepford Wives on crack or something. In Adulation 101 they'd learn how to stare at their husbands with awe and interest when listening to his thirtieth speech of the day. They don't HAVE to stifle the yawn because they aren't bored. No! They are completely enchanted listening to him opine endlessly about his political crap. The school would also have a course in "Looking the Part" where the wives would learn in-depth reasons for wearing multiple strands of pearls while in a gray skirted suit. Naturally they will also discuss the importance of having hair shellacked with spray so that it looks like a helmet. One of the more important classes would be called, Smiling and Nodding: A Politicians Wifes Best Friend. The ultimate test of the programs' success is if the husband invites her to a press conference where she - holding his hand and looking on with sad yet understanding eyes l...

My two daughters, Things 1 and 2, recently alerted me that their brother was in need of diapering attention. They did this in their typically elegant way...they made choking noises and screamed loudly, "MOMMMM!!! Thing 3 made a STINKY!!! Ewww....GROSS." I must say that I find this reaction fascinating from people who NEVER flush the toilet. In fact every morning I go on my Potty Rotation to flush all of the toilets in the house so that if, let's say, the exterminator makes a drop in visit he doesn't write on his blog about what a fucking skank I am. Anyway, back to my diapering duty...as I was scraping you-know-what off of his you-know-what I thought to myself, "Self...this sure does smell bad. And it's so strong...it's like it's not completely contained within his...oh dear god...." This is when I noticed that he had Something all over his hands and forearms. And I'll bet his nose was itchy. I could tell because he left evidence there that ...