Once upon a time there was a man called Jose A. Cruz who hailed from Clarksburg, West Virginia. He was 34 and, I would guess, funny looking. One evening he went out with the boys and "had a few". Just all in good fun. Boys will be boys, you know.... On the ride home he figured that if he didn't turn his headlights on he wouldn't have to deal with any awkward questions from The Law. It must have been quite a surprise when he was pulled over because of the lack of headlights. The responding officer noticed that he reeked of cheap booze and had slurred speech so they gave him a field sobriety test which he failed not once, not twice, but THRICE. Somewhat predictably, they arrested him. He was transported to the police station for a breathalyzer test. Not to be outdone, our hero - after what I'm sure was some serious and lucid self-reflection - tilted over to his side, farted loudly and fanned the nastiness into the face of his arresting officer. Did you hear that??? ...
Like sex, but with a B.