Today I bought New Shampoo. I couldn't wait to come home and use it. (And yes, I know that I'm a total dork.) Anyway, I put the baby down for his nap and hopped in the shower. After wetting my hair I read the back of the shampoo bottle. DID YOU HEAR THAT?? I read the back of the bottle. I realized that I do this every time I buy a new brand of shampoo. The instructions on my new bottle said, "Apply, lather, rinse." I have a feeling that whoever wrote that wanted to write, "Apply, lather, then rinse. You dumbass. WHAT? You were expecting a different instruction? Like maybe the way you use this product changes from time to time?! It is shampoo, you Tool. Wash your fucking head and then go put your helmet back on." So. I have revealed myself to you as something less than a mental giant. Fine. But my hair is clean. And it smells really good. Plus? I don't really have to wear a helmet. I just made that up. I totally have it going on.... Clean hair feed to hu...
Like sex, but with a B.