My two daughters, Things 1 and 2, recently alerted me that their brother was in need of diapering attention. They did this in their typically elegant way...they made choking noises and screamed loudly, "MOMMMM!!! Thing 3 made a STINKY!!! Ewww....GROSS." I must say that I find this reaction fascinating from people who NEVER flush the toilet. In fact every morning I go on my Potty Rotation to flush all of the toilets in the house so that if, let's say, the exterminator makes a drop in visit he doesn't write on his blog about what a fucking skank I am. Anyway, back to my diapering duty...as I was scraping you-know-what off of his you-know-what I thought to myself, "Self...this sure does smell bad. And it's so strong...it's like it's not completely contained within his...oh dear god...." This is when I noticed that he had Something all over his hands and forearms. And I'll bet his nose was itchy. I could tell because he left evidence there that ...
Like sex, but with a B.