Skip to main content

Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty!



I have to make this quick as I am BUSY today. BUT. Did you hear about the woman in South Florida who was mauled by two cheetahs? I read that headline and thought to myself, "Holy shit! I'm going there in a couple of weeks! What? Are there cheetahs roaming the streets there now? Are they in the Everglades? How will I protect myself and kids from this danger???"

Then I opened the article and realized that this woman ENTERED THEIR CAGE. She went in to do a demonstration and the people at the "cat sanctuary" (?!) said that one of the cats was distracted by a bouncing ball outside of the cage and then pounced on her, biting and clawing her.

I know that I'm not a cheetah. But I have actually been distracted by a bouncing ball myself. And not once, after many of these occurrences, did I knock someone to the ground and scratch and bite their back. NOT ONCE! When asked for a reason as to why the cheetahs attacked the lady I think the sanctuary spokesman should have said, "Because it's a fucking cheetah!" I think they made that bouncing ball story up just so it wouldn't seems so bad.

Cheetahs aren't like humans who have a very distinct pecking order of mammals they will and will NOT eat.

Now that I'm thinking about it, I think that it would be more newsworthy if someone entered a cage with two male cheetahs and walked away unscathed. Cheetahs eat other animals. It's what they DO, who they ARE. It's like walking into oncoming traffic, getting hit by a car and then saying, "What the fuck did you do THAT for??!" And then you mumble "...asshole..." under your breath as you stumble away.


Hit me up on Humor-Blogs! It is SO like, you know!

Comments

Mom said…
Bouncing ball my ass they saw dinner and pounced!
Anonymous said…
I have to agree. It's a WILD animal. There doesn't need to be a reason for it's behavior.
Karen Pope said…
The first STUPID thing they did was going into the cheetah's cage to begin with. Grilfriend didn't listen to the cheetah when it said, "I am the fastest land mammal, ever. Wanna see how fast I can attach your ass?"
damon said…
I still don't see why people get surprised when a wild animal acts like a wild animal.
Just ask Seigfried and Roy.
Memarie Lane said…
Watch her sue them now.

Popular posts from this blog

Florida: The Good. The Bad. The Holy SHIT!!!

So you know...I live in Florida now. The good news is that my southern accent is stronger than ever - I think it was some sort of defense mechanism...of or for what, I have no idea. I definitely miss Atlanta and my friends, though, especially now. Spring in Atlanta is SO beautiful. But Florida is pretty nice, too. We go to the beach at least once a week and we all love having a pool in the backyard. Also, my husband makes me a Planter's Punch every night and I don't even feel guilty by knocking it back - we're on vacation, right?? A couple of weeks ago I was reading the news and saw this weird picture: In case your eyes can't make sense of it, I'll give you a hint. It's not a puppy. I'm guessing it's not an air freshener, either. It is, in fact, a Burmese Python that ruptured and now has a really big dead Alligator sticking out of it's stomach. Oh, and something ate the snakes head off. That's why there is no head there. National Geographic has

Oooohhh...I just LOVE when you wrap it around me... do it again, please?

I had heard that "crack" kills. I just never really believed it until I saw it with my own eyes. (Bless his heart.) About 3 years ago I was 6 months pregnant and had two daughters (aged 4 and 5). We were all traveling from Bellingham, WA to Atlanta, GA with a VERY brief layover in Dallas. We were booked on a major airline that should remain anonymous as they are a bunch of asshats (but they rhyme with "Mamerican Mairlines") and we had to leave for the airport at 3:30 AM in order to catch our 7AM flight. It was Suck City. By the time our car arrived in Seattle my husband and I were barely speaking to each other and the girls had marks on their faces and arms from the backseat smack-down they had while out of our reach. When I went to the counter to speak with the representative she informed me that even though our seats had been purchased many months ago and seat assignments had been given all of that had changed and we were no longer sitting together as a family. I

Pervy McPervert strikes again!

When I was a kid I used to make the occasional prank call. But then I turned 13 and decided that it was a fairly retarded way to spend ones time. I've also received a few "heavy breathing" calls in my day. My mom finally bought us a whistle and said that whenever "he" called that we were to blow the whistle as loud as we could into the phone. That worked although I do wish she had specified that before blowing the whistle I should take the receiver away from my head as my ear made this weird ringing noise for days afterward. But it got rid of the pervert. It's a new day, however, and perverts must be looking for new ways to annoy us. Twice today someone has texted a picture to me. I have no idea who he is or what the hell he wants. But he must think that I don't know that sometimes shirtless men squeeze their arms against their chest to give the appearance that they actually have biceps when, in fact, their arms really look like toothpicks that are broke