Skip to main content

Light a match!

You know, people are getting so touchy these days. I just read this news story about a THIRTEEN year old kid who got arrested.

When I saw the headline I thought, "Man, this country is going to hell in a hand basket. What did this criminal mastermind DO, anyway?? Did he steal a car? Get his moms attention by throwing a cleaver at her head? Sexually assault his little sibling??"

Noooo....

No, this kid farted in school. And then got arrested. Apparently I went to school with a bunch of felons and didn't even know it.

Besides, have you seen what they feed these kids in school lunchrooms?? And "The Man" is going to blame intestinal distress on HIM??!

Let's file this under "Give Me A Fucking Break, Please."

The teacher said that he was purposefully farting and therefore disrupting the class. Plus? This little fucker turned off a few computers that his friends were working on.

I think it would be far more incredible if you could find me a 13 year old who doesn't fart on command and then fall to his knees in laughter. In fact, invert the age and find me a 31 year old who isn't the same way. I double dog DARE you.


Comments

Jormengrund said…
Heck, I'm 36, and my wife SWEARS that I've got stock in air fresheners!

There was a time, not so long ago, when teachers actually let kids be.... KIDS!

I don't know what they're expecting now. Maybe if we all arrested the little hooigans for acting so childish, they'd grow up faster!

Wait, is that why planned parenthood classes are so full nowadays?
4:30 PM
Daisy said…
I am the mom of 4 boys and 2 girls. We all die laughing when someone farts. I'm 48 years old and still appreciate a good ol' "fart fest" that the kids will provide. My girls are no slouches in this department- never to be outdone by their 4 brothers. I read about this poor kid too. Ridiculous.
11:03 PM
Anonymous said…
Safety!!
6:27 PM
Anonymous said…
I farted when I read this,,,LOL

#1
6:59 PM
Anonymous said…
It's unfair, because at school you can't blame it on the dog.
11:36 PM
robkroese said…
All 13 year olds belong in jail.
1:29 AM
Michael from dadcation.com said…
Awesome. I should've gotten in trouble a lot at that age, then. I stunk.
9:54 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Pervy McPervert strikes again!

When I was a kid I used to make the occasional prank call. But then I turned 13 and decided that it was a fairly retarded way to spend ones time. I've also received a few "heavy breathing" calls in my day. My mom finally bought us a whistle and said that whenever "he" called that we were to blow the whistle as loud as we could into the phone. That worked although I do wish she had specified that before blowing the whistle I should take the receiver away from my head as my ear made this weird ringing noise for days afterward. But it got rid of the pervert. It's a new day, however, and perverts must be looking for new ways to annoy us. Twice today someone has texted a picture to me. I have no idea who he is or what the hell he wants. But he must think that I don't know that sometimes shirtless men squeeze their arms against their chest to give the appearance that they actually have biceps when, in fact, their arms really look like toothpicks that are broke
23 comments
Read more

And The Winner Is...

I have some very exciting news. For the first time ever the Blog of Bex is giving out an award . Yes, I know. I can feel my heart pounding, too. I will call it the Bite My Ass Award (BMAA) and I'm sure it will be coveted. Now you might be wondering just who will be the lucky recipient. Could it be Diesel, the mastermind of Humor-Blogs and Mattress Police , who - for reasons unknown to me - revamped the scoring system and and reset my score to zero? Nope. This action has actually mysteriously seemed to work in my favor. I'm sure it's temporary. ANYWAY, on to the big news. I hereby give my BMAA to this guy: Handsome little fucker, isn't he? His name is James Jackson, IV and his friends call him Jay. I like to call him Fucktard because I believe that your name should say something about the kind of guy you are. And he's a total fucktard. What, you may wonder, did he do to generate such ire from me? Well I'm so glad you asked. He owns two boutiques in suburban At
23 comments
Read more

The Dunkin Donuts Dilemna

I am always amazed when I leave my home in the early hours of the morning and there are people out and about. I can barely see the runners (as the sun isn't yet passed the horizon) but they are hoofing it up the hill. Don't these people know that they should be home - in bed - snuggled up???! So you can imagine my surprise when, at 6AM, I saw the impressive line at my local Dunkin Donuts. But we were heading out of town on a road trip with 3 little kids (all under 8) and a 2 month old puppy. I know what you are thinking...WHY??! We very anxiously wanted to travel for a little bit of more pain - AKA my 20th High School reunion. Maybe more on that later... As if this all weren't bad enough, my husband and I had been to a party the night before and I had just the slightest headache. So I needed coffee and like all reasonable people I went to the Dunkin Donuts because their coffee is THE BEST coffee anywhere! Starbucks can kiss my lilly white! But I digress... So I get in the l
20 comments
Read more