Skip to main content

Rump shakin' good times...

You know those kind of posts where Mommy's put up the adorably insightful quotes of their brilliant and beautiful children? This isn't really one of those.

Here are my two quotes of the week:

8 year old daughter, "Mommy? A boy on the bus called me a funny name today and I looked it up in the dictionary but it wasn't there. What does 'Biotch' mean?"

6 year old daughter, "Mommy? Why do some of the ladies in your music call their booty a 'Money Maker'?"

So now I have a compulsion to get on the bus this afternoon and kick the ass of an 8 year old boy who probably doesn't know what a biotch is either. But trust me, he will when I get done with him.

As for the money maker question, I just changed the subject because I didn't know how to answer her. I am sure, however, that the subject will return. Any suggestions on how to answer that without using the following industry buzz words?
  • shake what cha momma gave ya
  • working the pole
  • Pimps up, ho's down
  • shake dat ass
  • bitch, gimme my money!
  • sex industry
Someone? Anyone??? While I'm waiting for your brilliant and helpful responses I'll send a feed to Humor-Blogs.com to see if they can add some insight.

Labels

Labels:

Comments

Bee said…
Maybe you can say:
"The say this because they're proud of their butt."
I dunno, I'd be freaking out and changing the subject too! I don't have kids but my niece is 4 and is at the age of 1 milion and One questions.
1:12 PM
Anonymous said…
how about, "cos if at some point it gets big enough, they can become a spokesperson for jenny craig."
1:33 PM
Anonymous said…
haha I like Leigh's answer! you could also maybe tell her it's because they get paid to dance in the music videos? it's slightly closer to the truth... lol
2:30 PM
Reed said…
Oh crap. This sounds like a conversation we had yesterday about the meaning of "ghetto". Then when we stopped to get gas, my son pointed to a bystander who happened to be Afro American and very loudly said "Hey Mom, is that what you mean by ghetto?" I sure wish the window hadn't been down. Damn this warm weather!!
Tell her that money maker is just a silly term like "booty." Then suggest some ice cream or something to divert her attention. Then switch to the easy listening station. Hopefully they don't play 50 cent.
6:46 PM
elasticwaistbandlady said…
My oldest got off the bus one day after Kindergarten and started singing that Nelly song, "It's Getting Hot In Here, So Take Off All Your CLothes."

I told her she heard the lyrics wrong from the bus heathens and that it actually went "It's getting cold in here, so put on all your clothes."

I love 5 year olds. You can still deceive them to some extent.
7:43 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Dunkin Donuts Dilemna

I am always amazed when I leave my home in the early hours of the morning and there are people out and about. I can barely see the runners (as the sun isn't yet passed the horizon) but they are hoofing it up the hill. Don't these people know that they should be home - in bed - snuggled up???! So you can imagine my surprise when, at 6AM, I saw the impressive line at my local Dunkin Donuts. But we were heading out of town on a road trip with 3 little kids (all under 8) and a 2 month old puppy. I know what you are thinking...WHY??! We very anxiously wanted to travel for a little bit of more pain - AKA my 20th High School reunion. Maybe more on that later... As if this all weren't bad enough, my husband and I had been to a party the night before and I had just the slightest headache. So I needed coffee and like all reasonable people I went to the Dunkin Donuts because their coffee is THE BEST coffee anywhere! Starbucks can kiss my lilly white! But I digress... So I get in the l...
21 comments
Read more

A Housewife's Dirty Confession...

I have Vaseline underneath my right index finger nail. No amount of soap and water seems to vanquish it. Sshhhhh. Don't tell anyone, K? Because that could lead to awkward questions. But I'll tell you what - today, just for shits and giggles, let's skip the questions completely and just go to the answers. And, GO. Projectile vomiting. One massive pile in the doctor's waiting room. Once in the car. Twice at home. Yes, that IS a lot of puke for a two year old. Anal suppositories. TWICE. No I am not honoring my pledge to lay off of the cosmo's for a while and fuck you for bringing that up after the day I've had. Did this make you smile? Or were you just envious that you didn't get to spend the morning pinning down a pissed off and puking two year old long enough to further enrage him by shoving a suppository up his ass? (thought so) Either way, feel free to click my HB smiley below. And, as always, if you're shopping around for funny blogs this is the pl...
15 comments
Read more

Light a match!

You know, people are getting so touchy these days. I just read this news story about a THIRTEEN year old kid who got arrested. When I saw the headline I thought, "Man, this country is going to hell in a hand basket. What did this criminal mastermind DO, anyway?? Did he steal a car? Get his moms attention by throwing a cleaver at her head? Sexually assault his little sibling??" Noooo.... No, this kid farted in school. And then got arrested. Apparently I went to school with a bunch of felons and didn't even know it. Besides, have you seen what they feed these kids in school lunchrooms?? And "The Man" is going to blame intestinal distress on HIM??! Let's file this under "Give Me A Fucking Break, Please." The teacher said that he was purposefully farting and therefore disrupting the class. Plus? This little fucker turned off a few computers that his friends were working on. I think it would be far more incredible if you could find me a 13 year old who...
30 comments
Read more