Skip to main content

OH Baby!!!!

I became aware of a documentary today called 'Orgasmic Birth'. It documents, essentially, women who have "natural" deliveries and then are blessed with some kind of orgasm at the end of the delivery. Wha...really????!

I've had three kids, but they've all been born via c-section. In the beginning I really wanted a vaginal birth...it just never happened for me (stupid cervix). But I planned for it, gave it a lot of thought and when I was crafting my Personal Birthing Plan my doctor asked me to put whether or not I'd like drugs and I wrote (after careful seconds of consideration), "Hell yes, I want the drugs! And if y'all are running low just let me know and I'll bring my own!"

That having been said, I have plenty of girlfriends who have done it without anything and they are just fine. Although, one would think that the same women who told me that I've just got to get a Rabbit vibrator would have the 4-1-1 on the orgasm at delivery if you don't do drugs thing. I'm guessing it doesn't happen for just anyone. (Maybe there is more to that bat-shit-crazy octomom than I had previously thought????)

After reading further through their literature it appears that some use "manual stimulation" to reach orgasm as they are delivering their child. I can tell you guys this much; my husband already thinks I'm a freak. I'm pretty sure masturbating during the delivery of our child would push him over the edge (not in a good way).

There are some good points in the article, however. When you are sexually stimulated, you don't receive pain the same way. And, to some, pain actually feels kinda good (you know who you are) when you're having sex.

I know some granola girls who will be all over this shit. I'm not judging you, Sisters! Squeeze that pickle through your straw anyway you can! I, personally, will take this movement seriously as soon as I hear that the same advice is being given to other people in pain.

For example, someone getting a tooth filled. Or, keeping it "apples to apples", how about a guy getting a vasectomy? That hurts (if my husband is to be believed). Perhaps he should have just allowed himself to reach down, and...oh man. I can't even finish the thought. Anyway, it is an interesting idea. And you never know, right?? Maybe the next time I stub my toe I'll give it a try.


Comments

April said…
Wow. After having birthed a few times, I can say that I don't understand why anyone would even want to be sexually stimulated, let alone brought to orgasm, when it feels like you're being ripped apart. But more power to 'em, right? :)
Bex said…
I was deeply honored to be invited by two different women to be a part of their births. With each of them I was holding a leg and hoping that the dad didn't pass out.

I keep trying to imagine any insinuation that something sexy might happen...you know, Barry White playing in the background, the dad wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, the mom looking at her husband with anything other than contempt in her eyes.... I just don't see it even in the realm of possibility that an orgasm could happen.

It seemed more likely that someone might have ripped the sex organ off of her partner and smacked him with it.

But as you've stated, April, more power to 'em.
Meg said…
How can one pleasure oneself when passing something like a bowling ball? I don't get it.
leigh said…
if anyone had tried to "stimulate" me while i was popping out my second child who was born without drugs, they would have pulled back a bloody stump.

DON'T FREAKING TOUCH ME WHEN I'M IN LABOR!!
kc said…
Um, wow. I don't have kids, but most of my friends were having trouble reaching to wipe themselves by the 9th month. I'm thinking poking around down there, in the middle of contractions, and in front of the doctor, husband, moms, God-n-ever'body takes a special kind of lady.
Candice said…
I've heard of this as well.

The last thing I need to be freaking out over is if I'm going to 1. shit on the delivery table and 2. get off in front of the obgyn and various other medical professionals in the room.

I'd rather be numb from the ute down. Thanks.
Jormengrund said…
Problem with getting "stimulated" while having the vasectomy is pulling sutures.. That shit HURTS!

It really must take some open-minded lady to reach down there and jiggle her bits enough to get off while passing a kid..

I know that the mom of my kids was focused on not reaching over and ripping my dick off more than thinking about getting it on, really..

Where do some folks come up with this shit??
Lori said…
We totally dig this blog!

Check out ours when you get a sec!


http://snarknbeans.blogspot.com/

-Lo and Li

Popular posts from this blog

Florida: The Good. The Bad. The Holy SHIT!!!

So you know...I live in Florida now. The good news is that my southern accent is stronger than ever - I think it was some sort of defense mechanism...of or for what, I have no idea. I definitely miss Atlanta and my friends, though, especially now. Spring in Atlanta is SO beautiful. But Florida is pretty nice, too. We go to the beach at least once a week and we all love having a pool in the backyard. Also, my husband makes me a Planter's Punch every night and I don't even feel guilty by knocking it back - we're on vacation, right?? A couple of weeks ago I was reading the news and saw this weird picture: In case your eyes can't make sense of it, I'll give you a hint. It's not a puppy. I'm guessing it's not an air freshener, either. It is, in fact, a Burmese Python that ruptured and now has a really big dead Alligator sticking out of it's stomach. Oh, and something ate the snakes head off. That's why there is no head there. National Geographic has

Oooohhh...I just LOVE when you wrap it around me... do it again, please?

I had heard that "crack" kills. I just never really believed it until I saw it with my own eyes. (Bless his heart.) About 3 years ago I was 6 months pregnant and had two daughters (aged 4 and 5). We were all traveling from Bellingham, WA to Atlanta, GA with a VERY brief layover in Dallas. We were booked on a major airline that should remain anonymous as they are a bunch of asshats (but they rhyme with "Mamerican Mairlines") and we had to leave for the airport at 3:30 AM in order to catch our 7AM flight. It was Suck City. By the time our car arrived in Seattle my husband and I were barely speaking to each other and the girls had marks on their faces and arms from the backseat smack-down they had while out of our reach. When I went to the counter to speak with the representative she informed me that even though our seats had been purchased many months ago and seat assignments had been given all of that had changed and we were no longer sitting together as a family. I

The Wild and Wonderful World of Animal Butts

Hello, Boys. How're they hangin'?? Several years ago my dad and I were hiking in California. It was a beautiful afternoon and we were on a mountain trail. We came upon some kind of farm that had a fence around it. Suddenly I saw it - a pig lying down with his "sac" squeezed out behind him. It looked as though someone had stuffed two basketballs under his skin. My first thought was, "Holy crap, pigs can get elephantitis??!" This was quickly followed by thought number two which was, "I would give anything to be sharing this experience with anyone but my father ." So I did what anyone could do in such a situation. I took a picture of the pig balls. I decided that I would put it on the cover of my Christmas cards that year and when the card was opened it would say, "Deck the halls...." I haven't done it yet but I will...yes, I will. You may be wondering why I brought this up. It has to do with baboons and Darwin. At the risk of dramatical