Skip to main content

Jackass Du Jour

Why must we have people like Governor Blagojevich of Illinois??? What a complete and utter tool. He put a Senate seat up for the highest bidder. I'm surprised he didn't use eBay. Spitzer must be relieved to be replaced by such an OBVIOUS dickhead in the media.

Spitzer is like, "Hey...all I did was put the stones to a hooker...it's not like I was selling Senate Seats on the sly...."

Let me guess...some day REALLY soon we're going to see a press conference where Blago-whatever's wife blindly follows him out on a stage where he admits to being a total piece of shit while the crowd collectively gasps. OR...he'll commit himself to rehab somewhere....

And THEN he'll have a press conference (with a xanaxed out of her mind wife by his side) where he says,
"I was in the grips of a DISEASE when I said that! Now that I'm clean and sober...well, I'm no longer a lying, conniving jackass! Nope! I no longer lust after money and glory...I've basically become Jesus after being in rehab for 28 days. Plus? Now Amy Winehouse and I are super awesome Facebook friends! Also? You know how she looks like she smells bad?? Well, she does."


Comments

Anonymous said…
And what the hell is up with his hair?
Bex said…
DUDE. THAT is the REAL question. It's GOTTA be a toupee, yes?? Natural biology just doesn't make anything that...poofy....
Anonymous said…
hey bex! wassup? have you guys moved yet? sorry i've been such a weenie about not posting. hope all is well with you.
Jormengrund said…
My guess is that once he gets out of whatever mental facility he's going to be committed to, Obama is then going to bring him straight into some high-end cabinet position.

That way, once Obama's 8 years in office are up, they can then auction off the remaining positions to the highest bidder again, and maybe get some great deals on some of the furniture and antiques in the White House..

I've got 10, who'll give me 15? 15 million now going for 20.. who'll give me 20? 25? 20?

I've got a bid of 18 from the Iraqi fellow in the back...
Beck said…
It is extremely interesting to see what people outside of Chicago think of the recent controversy regarding Gov. Blagohevich.

This is the way politics are around here. The only evidence I've heard is that they have him swearing on a wire tap from his home phone. I do not know who he wsa talking to. We all need to vent.

As for his wife... she is the daughter of an old-school long-time Alderman. She probably instigated the whole thing. She won't come out smelling like a rose.

Nonethless, Blago is over. Although I think people are being too hard on him. And forgetting to "keep it real".
Bex said…
Hey, Leigh. The truth is...you ARE a weenie. But, your blond, funny and have a nice rack, so you'll be fine. I was very, very happy to see you back in the saddle, though. Shitty times, eh??

Beck! First of all, HI! How's tricks?? Freeze any paints lately?

As for your Gov...you're the first person I've encountered who isn't ready to burn him at the stake. Interesting...the only news they are playing around here is that he's the potato in a game of "hot potato" - nobody wants to be anywhere near him when the music stops.

And it does seem like the wife has some 'splaining to do (LUCY....)

I guess it is kind of funny...that's probably the way politics are everywhere. But it's unusual to have a Governor on tape being so...forthright about his desire to be paid off.

Interesting perspective.... Have a great holiday!!!
Kat said…
He's just one of those guys you can TELL is a douche by looking at him. Just look at that corn-fed smile and that 1973 haircut. Can't trust him as far as you can throw him.
Brad said…
He looks like he should be selling scotch on the back of a 1977 Playboy.
Alice said…
Yo Bex - have fun in Florida (if you can).

I got a kick out of the rotovirus story - it reminded me of my daughters blast at the airport where I had to ditch her outfit and wrap her in a jacket for the trip since we didn't have a backup outfit.

Missing youz guyz tons,
A
Paige said…
oh our dear governor--he is the ultimate tool. And he is my boss, indirectly--at least he pays me, and not the other way around

The sad thing is that the only difference between him and other chicago politicos is that he did not have the good sense to shut his trap. We expect this sort of behavior from our electeds, we just expect them to pretend they do not do it.

Dumb ass did not get the memo.

Popular posts from this blog

Florida: The Good. The Bad. The Holy SHIT!!!

So you know...I live in Florida now. The good news is that my southern accent is stronger than ever - I think it was some sort of defense mechanism...of or for what, I have no idea. I definitely miss Atlanta and my friends, though, especially now. Spring in Atlanta is SO beautiful. But Florida is pretty nice, too. We go to the beach at least once a week and we all love having a pool in the backyard. Also, my husband makes me a Planter's Punch every night and I don't even feel guilty by knocking it back - we're on vacation, right?? A couple of weeks ago I was reading the news and saw this weird picture: In case your eyes can't make sense of it, I'll give you a hint. It's not a puppy. I'm guessing it's not an air freshener, either. It is, in fact, a Burmese Python that ruptured and now has a really big dead Alligator sticking out of it's stomach. Oh, and something ate the snakes head off. That's why there is no head there. National Geographic has

Oooohhh...I just LOVE when you wrap it around me... do it again, please?

I had heard that "crack" kills. I just never really believed it until I saw it with my own eyes. (Bless his heart.) About 3 years ago I was 6 months pregnant and had two daughters (aged 4 and 5). We were all traveling from Bellingham, WA to Atlanta, GA with a VERY brief layover in Dallas. We were booked on a major airline that should remain anonymous as they are a bunch of asshats (but they rhyme with "Mamerican Mairlines") and we had to leave for the airport at 3:30 AM in order to catch our 7AM flight. It was Suck City. By the time our car arrived in Seattle my husband and I were barely speaking to each other and the girls had marks on their faces and arms from the backseat smack-down they had while out of our reach. When I went to the counter to speak with the representative she informed me that even though our seats had been purchased many months ago and seat assignments had been given all of that had changed and we were no longer sitting together as a family. I

The Wild and Wonderful World of Animal Butts

Hello, Boys. How're they hangin'?? Several years ago my dad and I were hiking in California. It was a beautiful afternoon and we were on a mountain trail. We came upon some kind of farm that had a fence around it. Suddenly I saw it - a pig lying down with his "sac" squeezed out behind him. It looked as though someone had stuffed two basketballs under his skin. My first thought was, "Holy crap, pigs can get elephantitis??!" This was quickly followed by thought number two which was, "I would give anything to be sharing this experience with anyone but my father ." So I did what anyone could do in such a situation. I took a picture of the pig balls. I decided that I would put it on the cover of my Christmas cards that year and when the card was opened it would say, "Deck the halls...." I haven't done it yet but I will...yes, I will. You may be wondering why I brought this up. It has to do with baboons and Darwin. At the risk of dramatical