It is my sincerest wish that almost everyone survives Hurricane Ike. Almost. Because, truth-be-told, in the battle between Geraldo Rivera and Ike...well, I'm pretty much pulling for the hurricane.
What's not to like about Geraldo, you ask? Hmmm...is it the fact that he's an attorney? Nah. Is it a case of Former Talk Show Host Rage? Nope.
No, it is because I've begun to strongly suspect that Geraldo Rivera is a fucking tool. My hypothesis began during Hurricane Gustav. I was flipping through the channels on TV when I came across an image of Geraldo running up and down Bourbon Street in a soaked rain coat holding some sort of meteorologist tool that gauges wind speed like this:
The anchor kept trying to ask him questions about flooding, people who were in harms way, etc. But Geraldo couldn't hear and he was zig zagging around with his little wind catcher going, "FIFTY miles an hour! That gust was 50! ....Oh, wait a minute, here comes another....WOW! We've got fifty-TWO!"
I was watching and just hoping that a New Orleans local would come out of their shelter and give him a good, firm slap while screaming into the wind gust, "No shit it's windy. You are in a fucking hurricane, Jackass." And then our New Orleans hero would look into the camera and say, "Back to you, Jane."
But that didn't happen. Because - thankfully - New Orleans was successfully evacuated and there weren't any locals available for slapping overzealous reporters.
Then this afternoon I was curious about how Hurricane Ike was doing and turned on the TV to find Geraldo standing on the coast in Galveston, Texas. This is the place that is supposed to get a 20 foot wall of water. In fact, it's already flooding there, at least 12 hours before the eye of the storm has even arrived. Geraldo was milling about in the flooded water as though he were at a cocktail party, flirting with firemen and probably wishing that he hadn't left his little wind tool back at the Hilton. And then, predictably, he fell down as you can see in the video below:
After his prat dive he became very jumpy and every time a piece of debris hit him in the foot he jumped as though a shark had bitten him. All I could think of was where is a water spout when you really, truly need one.
What's not to like about Geraldo, you ask? Hmmm...is it the fact that he's an attorney? Nah. Is it a case of Former Talk Show Host Rage? Nope.
No, it is because I've begun to strongly suspect that Geraldo Rivera is a fucking tool. My hypothesis began during Hurricane Gustav. I was flipping through the channels on TV when I came across an image of Geraldo running up and down Bourbon Street in a soaked rain coat holding some sort of meteorologist tool that gauges wind speed like this:
The anchor kept trying to ask him questions about flooding, people who were in harms way, etc. But Geraldo couldn't hear and he was zig zagging around with his little wind catcher going, "FIFTY miles an hour! That gust was 50! ....Oh, wait a minute, here comes another....WOW! We've got fifty-TWO!"
I was watching and just hoping that a New Orleans local would come out of their shelter and give him a good, firm slap while screaming into the wind gust, "No shit it's windy. You are in a fucking hurricane, Jackass." And then our New Orleans hero would look into the camera and say, "Back to you, Jane."
But that didn't happen. Because - thankfully - New Orleans was successfully evacuated and there weren't any locals available for slapping overzealous reporters.
Then this afternoon I was curious about how Hurricane Ike was doing and turned on the TV to find Geraldo standing on the coast in Galveston, Texas. This is the place that is supposed to get a 20 foot wall of water. In fact, it's already flooding there, at least 12 hours before the eye of the storm has even arrived. Geraldo was milling about in the flooded water as though he were at a cocktail party, flirting with firemen and probably wishing that he hadn't left his little wind tool back at the Hilton. And then, predictably, he fell down as you can see in the video below:
After his prat dive he became very jumpy and every time a piece of debris hit him in the foot he jumped as though a shark had bitten him. All I could think of was where is a water spout when you really, truly need one.
Comments
Go Ike.
#1
Merrie - That's hilarious! I'll bet that his camera man spends 99% of his time rolling his eyes at the sight on the other end of the camera.
Chat Blanc - My favorite part is the "Oooouuufff" when he falls. Classic.
Holy Crappers - Thanks, Philly!
That video was hilarious, but my very favorite thing is where the chick says, "Anyone who stays MAY face CERTAIN death!" Way to be noncommittally dramatic, there, chicky! FOX isn't really news.
BTW, this is my smiley. Stupid kitty.
Don - I saw that, too! My hubs and I were just saying that he looks like he thinks he might have had sex with a Haitian prostitute because he fell in water that used to be where they were. So if he turns up HIV+ in the next few weeks, we'll all know why.
Sensei - you're SO right about that mustache. It makes me want to cut somebody. Or play Super Mario Brothers video games. Either way.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dg-yVUN7xGE
then the anchor laughs at him. heh.
Too bad everything is digital now. We'll never get rid of him, unless he somehow floats out to sea!