Skip to main content

Who's yo Momma???

I took down my story because it looks like the poor little guy isn't going to make it. :(((



Comments

Anonymous said…
Um, WTF is a TEAT doing on a yacht? And is that like a standard feature?

Somewhere there is a whale mommy about to overflow and very upset that Junior is wasting time on a boat.
damon said…
What part of a boat even resembles a whale boob? I've been on a lot of boats, and never has anyone said,"we can't go out today, the teat's broken."

I think they met 'Bumper' the blind whale.
Chat Blanc said…
maybe it's the early stages of a pervert whale in the making?
Bex said…
KC - I don't think teats are standard issue. I'm pretty sure they cost extra.... Hopefully Mama Whale has some good nipple pads.

Damon - I wondered, too. Now that I wonder about it, I don't even know where whales keep theirs. Have you ever seen a whale nurse her calf???

Sandy - Hmmmm...yeah, maybe it wanted to suck on something else, eh? Maybe...
Anonymous said…
I didn't know yachts even had nipples.

You learn something new everyday.
Meg said…
What's up with all the boob posts? I just posted about my mammogram.

Is it the time of year when our kids are off to school or what?
I heard this story while I was at the dentist this morning, and I was all, WTH?! Attempting to nurse off a yaht?!
AoE said…
I prefer to think that the whale was attempting to gratify its sexual needs rather than its comfort/nutritional needs ... that rudder looks a lot more like a sex organ than a nipple!
Anonymous said…
@ aoe: Well, if that's the case, I wonder if the boat enjoyed it as much as the whale.

@ bex -- great post!!
Beck said…
They were 3 gin and tonics into their anchor and the "breastfeeding" idea just seemed to make sense then. Or secretly wishing for grandchildren. Or it was a man wishing for the robust, firm and bounceless hooters of milky hooters

Love the diddums thing
Keeper Of All Things said…
Boats have Teats???
I always thought they had plane old tits......live and learn
Unknown said…
OK, as soon as you said "Thurmond", you set me off on a tirade of giggles, and then it just kept getting funnier and funnier! That was awesome. Thanks!
Johnny Virgil said…
I'm pretty sure humpback whales aren't predators, unless you are plankton.
Johnny Virgil said…
I could be plankton.
Johnny Virgil said…
zooplankton, specifically.

If I had a choice I mean.
Rickey said…
This story makes Rickey sad...
Bex said…
Johnny - I've often suspected you weren't human. Plankton (zoo or otherwise) explains a lot.

Rickey - I know. It is sad. I hope it works out for the poor little guy.
Anonymous said…
Yeah, damn shame about that. Nothing they can do. :o(blewknight@yahoo.com

Popular posts from this blog

The Dunkin Donuts Dilemna

I am always amazed when I leave my home in the early hours of the morning and there are people out and about. I can barely see the runners (as the sun isn't yet passed the horizon) but they are hoofing it up the hill. Don't these people know that they should be home - in bed - snuggled up???! So you can imagine my surprise when, at 6AM, I saw the impressive line at my local Dunkin Donuts. But we were heading out of town on a road trip with 3 little kids (all under 8) and a 2 month old puppy. I know what you are thinking...WHY??! We very anxiously wanted to travel for a little bit of more pain - AKA my 20th High School reunion. Maybe more on that later... As if this all weren't bad enough, my husband and I had been to a party the night before and I had just the slightest headache. So I needed coffee and like all reasonable people I went to the Dunkin Donuts because their coffee is THE BEST coffee anywhere! Starbucks can kiss my lilly white! But I digress... So I get in the l...

A Housewife's Dirty Confession...

I have Vaseline underneath my right index finger nail. No amount of soap and water seems to vanquish it. Sshhhhh. Don't tell anyone, K? Because that could lead to awkward questions. But I'll tell you what - today, just for shits and giggles, let's skip the questions completely and just go to the answers. And, GO. Projectile vomiting. One massive pile in the doctor's waiting room. Once in the car. Twice at home. Yes, that IS a lot of puke for a two year old. Anal suppositories. TWICE. No I am not honoring my pledge to lay off of the cosmo's for a while and fuck you for bringing that up after the day I've had. Did this make you smile? Or were you just envious that you didn't get to spend the morning pinning down a pissed off and puking two year old long enough to further enrage him by shoving a suppository up his ass? (thought so) Either way, feel free to click my HB smiley below. And, as always, if you're shopping around for funny blogs this is the pl...

Light a match!

You know, people are getting so touchy these days. I just read this news story about a THIRTEEN year old kid who got arrested. When I saw the headline I thought, "Man, this country is going to hell in a hand basket. What did this criminal mastermind DO, anyway?? Did he steal a car? Get his moms attention by throwing a cleaver at her head? Sexually assault his little sibling??" Noooo.... No, this kid farted in school. And then got arrested. Apparently I went to school with a bunch of felons and didn't even know it. Besides, have you seen what they feed these kids in school lunchrooms?? And "The Man" is going to blame intestinal distress on HIM??! Let's file this under "Give Me A Fucking Break, Please." The teacher said that he was purposefully farting and therefore disrupting the class. Plus? This little fucker turned off a few computers that his friends were working on. I think it would be far more incredible if you could find me a 13 year old who...