Skip to main content

Bad Boy, Charlie. No, NO!




Why does this man continue to marry and breed?? He has a 25 year old daughter from his ex Paula Profit, 2 girls from his ex Denise Richards and now, apparently, another on the way from future-ex Brooke Mueller (btw, she's not, by any chance THE Pasta Princess of Mueller fame, is she???)

How does he even talk these women into walking down the aisle?? Don't they have girlfriends?! You know, real friends who will say, "Oh, Brooke, Brooke, Brooke! What the fuck are you doing? He likes you, there is no doubt about that. But he LOVES coke and hookers. Ask anyone! Even my Great Aunt Suzie knows that."

This is the kind of guy you party with. Go to Vegas with him. Have a nasty three-way with him and a 17 year old model at a coke fueled rave. But marry him? No thanks.

And how did she even get pregnant? Normally when you get married you don't have to worry about condoms for protection against STD's. But this rule doesn't apply to someone like Charlie Sheen. Nope, he's what we in the business refer to as "a triple bagger".

Remember, his ex-wife Denise left him when she was like 8 months pregnant. I think this might be a meaningful clue into the type of guy he is. Perhaps he gave her a baby plus a raging case of herpes? Something catastrophic must have happened. But I'm sure that in the end Brooke will be fine. She'll have a cute baby to make excuses to about his fathers behavior, and then she has a lucrative realty show just waiting in the wings for her...maybe she knows what she's doing after all???


Please click on my HB smiley below to give me a little vote! And while you're there, check out some of the other funny blogs listed. It's an excellent way to kill some time!

Comments

Tricia said…
I know he's a bad boy but there is something so endearing about him to me too. I'd probably be stupid enough to go there (although he wouldn't touch me with a 10 foot pole I assume and I'm probably lucky).

I just love Two and a Half Men and it's because of him or maybe just the character he plays which seems to be a lot like he is IRL.

Ah well I'd probably never really go for a guy that bad BUT I do understand the appeal.
Anonymous said…
Do you know what Charlie Sheen has to do in order to get laid? He needs to go up to a woman and say "Hi. I'm Charlie Sheen."

I think the problem lies within the fact that some women think they can change a guy, and guide him in the right direction. However, Charlie Sheen in like old Yeller, and you can't teach an old dog new tricks. You are just better off taking him behind the shed...and you know the rest.
Anonymous said…
Oh God, look at his face. It's like he's slowly evolving into a scary old man who lives in a shack and writes threatening manifestos to the government.
Unknown said…
"This is the kind of guy you party with. Go to Vegas with him. Have a nasty three-way with him and a 17 year old model at a coke fueled rave."

Quality lines! (ummm not those kind)
Liz T. said…
Yeah, poor old Charlie's looking a little rough around the edges. He's better be pretty damned good in bed. I'm just sayin'.
Sensei said…
Charlie Sheen looks at a woman and she gets pregnant. Late last year, my wife was addicted to "Two and a Half Men," "Spin City," "Major League," "Hot Shots (part one, not part deux,) and "The Chase."

That was about nine months ago. Her addiction abruptly stopped after we found out she was expecting ...

Wait a minute?!?!?!?
Bex said…
Et tu, Tricia?!

He'd touch you, I'm sure. You'd just want to be in a plastic bubble to ensure that you don't catch the mange from him.

Like I said, you have my permission to poke him. Just PLEASE don't marry him, have a baby with him and then get all surprised when he hooks up with the Olsen twins at your birthday party.

Jinksy - Yah, you're right. Maybe he's more charming than I realize. Or maybe he's hung like a rhino. Who knows. Well, I guess Tricia knows. But, I mean, like who ELSE knows.

Jeffrey - You know what, I almost commented on the face because it almost looks like a bad photo shop job where the face is too big and turned an unnatural way from the body. But you summed it up perfectly. He's probably already working on his line, "Pssst ... little girl ... there is some candy for you in my pocket ... but you have to reach in and get it ..."

Chris - Thank you, Brotha! They just flowed onto the paper...it must have been my higher power at work!
Bex said…
Liz C - I would think he would be good with all that practice. Or, maybe he's the kind of "John" who just lays there and let's the working girls do all the heavy lifting.

Sensei - Yikes. Hopefully the kid won't take on that weird, prominent chin of his. He looks like a cartoon bad guy. (Congrats on the baby!)
There is not enough industrial grade plastics I could dip myself in to want to get naked with Charlie Sheen, let alone spawn with him.
Chat Blanc said…
I'm certain the CDC has classified him as a health hazard by now.

And the poor kids, they'll have a lecherous old man for a dad!
Deb said…
"Triple bagger"?? Ewwww. Just saw a show on Biography about him, it was called "Ewwww". Seems his parents liked to be naked all the time in front of the kids. Ewwww.

Give me a triple Ewwww to go with that triple bagger.
Bex said…
FADKOG - Great. Now anytime some pervert googles "Dipping naked bodies into plastics with spawning Charlie Sheen" they'll be directed to MY blog.

Chat Blanc - The CDC probably has a whole floor named after him. And you're right - his kids won't be able to bring over any kids past the age of 11 or else risk that their wacko pops will be all, "Hey there, Baby...how YOU doin'??

Deb - The word of the day is, officially, "Ewwww".
Tazeen said…
oh you know what they say about bad boys. every woman think she would be the last one that will bring about his redemption. this one too will learn the hard way, or may be he has grown a little older to pull all those shenanigans any more, who knows.
Merrie said…
Seriously...why are some women glutton for punishment? Someone please explain to them about zebras and their stripes.

Popular posts from this blog

Florida: The Good. The Bad. The Holy SHIT!!!

So you know...I live in Florida now. The good news is that my southern accent is stronger than ever - I think it was some sort of defense mechanism...of or for what, I have no idea. I definitely miss Atlanta and my friends, though, especially now. Spring in Atlanta is SO beautiful. But Florida is pretty nice, too. We go to the beach at least once a week and we all love having a pool in the backyard. Also, my husband makes me a Planter's Punch every night and I don't even feel guilty by knocking it back - we're on vacation, right?? A couple of weeks ago I was reading the news and saw this weird picture: In case your eyes can't make sense of it, I'll give you a hint. It's not a puppy. I'm guessing it's not an air freshener, either. It is, in fact, a Burmese Python that ruptured and now has a really big dead Alligator sticking out of it's stomach. Oh, and something ate the snakes head off. That's why there is no head there. National Geographic has

Oooohhh...I just LOVE when you wrap it around me... do it again, please?

I had heard that "crack" kills. I just never really believed it until I saw it with my own eyes. (Bless his heart.) About 3 years ago I was 6 months pregnant and had two daughters (aged 4 and 5). We were all traveling from Bellingham, WA to Atlanta, GA with a VERY brief layover in Dallas. We were booked on a major airline that should remain anonymous as they are a bunch of asshats (but they rhyme with "Mamerican Mairlines") and we had to leave for the airport at 3:30 AM in order to catch our 7AM flight. It was Suck City. By the time our car arrived in Seattle my husband and I were barely speaking to each other and the girls had marks on their faces and arms from the backseat smack-down they had while out of our reach. When I went to the counter to speak with the representative she informed me that even though our seats had been purchased many months ago and seat assignments had been given all of that had changed and we were no longer sitting together as a family. I

Pervy McPervert strikes again!

When I was a kid I used to make the occasional prank call. But then I turned 13 and decided that it was a fairly retarded way to spend ones time. I've also received a few "heavy breathing" calls in my day. My mom finally bought us a whistle and said that whenever "he" called that we were to blow the whistle as loud as we could into the phone. That worked although I do wish she had specified that before blowing the whistle I should take the receiver away from my head as my ear made this weird ringing noise for days afterward. But it got rid of the pervert. It's a new day, however, and perverts must be looking for new ways to annoy us. Twice today someone has texted a picture to me. I have no idea who he is or what the hell he wants. But he must think that I don't know that sometimes shirtless men squeeze their arms against their chest to give the appearance that they actually have biceps when, in fact, their arms really look like toothpicks that are broke