Thing One, my eight year old, is an excellent reader. When she reads she gets really into the story and sometimes it is difficult to get her attention. This morning I was trying to get the girls ready for summer camp and couldn't find them. I finally saw the light on under the bathroom door and barged in and said, "What the hell are you guys doing?? You're going to be late! "
Thing One answered in her best smart ass voice, "Well, Mother..., my sister is applying sunscreen to her face - as you requested, I might add - and I am taking a huge poopie and while I'm waiting for it I'm simply reading my book - aloud to my sister." The implication was that they were all pure, innocent and therefore beyond reproach and I am simply an annoying and sometimes borderline-psychotic maternal figure who is irrationally pissed off that I walked in to find them being focused on something reasonable.
This is when I noticed the thumb. There was a huge wad of crap on it. Not on the end, either. It was on top, right by the nail. There were brown smudges on the pages of the book where - apparently - she had been turning the pages. Shiterific!
She was in the process of rolling her eyes at me and I said, "Hey there. Nice turd on your thumb. Here's a thought - how about you put your dookie schmeared book down, focus on wiping your ass and get some sunscreen on your face. Oh. And let's not forget to wash our hands today, OK? That would be terrific."
Mondays, huh?
Do you like funny blogs? Do you wanna see the funniest blog?? Just follow the har-dee-har-hars to Humor-blogs!
PS My GMAT exam is this Friday (July 18)! Wish me luck....
Thing One answered in her best smart ass voice, "Well, Mother..., my sister is applying sunscreen to her face - as you requested, I might add - and I am taking a huge poopie and while I'm waiting for it I'm simply reading my book - aloud to my sister." The implication was that they were all pure, innocent and therefore beyond reproach and I am simply an annoying and sometimes borderline-psychotic maternal figure who is irrationally pissed off that I walked in to find them being focused on something reasonable.
This is when I noticed the thumb. There was a huge wad of crap on it. Not on the end, either. It was on top, right by the nail. There were brown smudges on the pages of the book where - apparently - she had been turning the pages. Shiterific!
She was in the process of rolling her eyes at me and I said, "Hey there. Nice turd on your thumb. Here's a thought - how about you put your dookie schmeared book down, focus on wiping your ass and get some sunscreen on your face. Oh. And let's not forget to wash our hands today, OK? That would be terrific."
Mondays, huh?
Do you like funny blogs? Do you wanna see the funniest blog?? Just follow the har-dee-har-hars to Humor-blogs!
PS My GMAT exam is this Friday (July 18)! Wish me luck....
Comments
Dookie, pooh-pooh, kaka
guano, fecal, turd
shit, crap, dung
I know, it doesn't rhyme.
That would be doubly-disgusting.
Great post.
peace
#2