The definition of a "lurker" is someone who regularly reads discussions but rarely (if ever) participates in them. I know that I have my share and, frankly, I'm grateful. I look at my little sitemeter in wonder every time anybody shows up. So welcome, lurkers.
But here is the thing: One of you guys comes here on a regular basis by googling "bex naked". Seriously. What the fuck?! You've already been here. You know that I'm not naked. And if you've read enough of my posts you know that I've had three kids. THREE. As in, not one, not two, but three. And if my kids weren't enough to scare you off I have this ill-regarded tattoo on my arse. [For my blogging homey Alice, I'll admit that it is a tribal sun. (Because I'm so tribal and everything.) Of course I've shared about mine and she hasn't mentioned hers...but that is another story....] So what gives, Lurker??
When My Lurker (yes, that's what I call you) pops in he's directed right here. It's a post I wrote some time ago about naked German tourists. Perhaps you just...you, know...like that and know that if you google "bex naked" it'll take you there??
Now, I love it when I get comments as much as the next blogger. But if you want to lurk, knock yourself out. Whatever blows your skirt (or kilt) up. But for chrissakes. How about just googling Blog of Bex. Or at least give me a reason for your visits. I'm so curious!!!
Besides, it could be worse. It's not like you've googled "Circus Freak Ugly and Not Even a Little Bit Funny Writer" and then my picture shows up. Right??
Oh, and speaking of circus freaks, you guys have no idea what I went through to get that stupid picture above. It could be fairly stated that google images offers a plethora of blindfold picture options. That's all I'm saying. I now have images burned into my retinas that are less than wholesome. They may also be less than legal. I'm just not sure.
Want more funny blogs? Check out humor-blogs.com for many a hard-i-har-har.
Comments
Just was linked to your site yesterday, so this is my 1st comment.
I won't lurk anymore, promise, maybe just a little, no really I won't
#1
I'm still freaking out about the movie 'Sybil' and I saw it over 30 years ago.
I am a wuss.
I tried though.
peace
#2
Like Liz C said, there are just some things I cannot bring myself to Google however, images burned to my retinas are not my concern. I have a very intense fear of disappearing, CSI confiscating my computer, and asking my family, "Why would she do a Google search on 'Bex Naked'?" I live in a very proper New England town of about 5,000 decedents of the Mayflower. It would take exactly 12.9 minutes for the gossip to hit every resident that there was deviant in their midst, even though they have no idea what a Bex is, let alone a naked Bex. My house would be fire bombed, my dog tarred and feathered and my family would have to go live in a yurt in Siberia to escape the shame.
I have a link to your site in my bookmarks. Yeah, that's it. A bookmark to your site! See? Simple explanation. Cross me off your Who's The Lurker List.
Deb Who Used To Have a Blog (and probably needs to start another one so I can babble on that instead of here).
Liz c - Actually, I don't know what the hell I was thinking. I have three little kids milling about (due to some RIDICULOUS situation they call "summer vacation") and the next thing I know graphic gay bondage scenes are on my computer. Not that there is anything wrong with that...well, maybe it's a little wrong. I don't mind the gay part...it's the whips and stuff. I guess I just don't get the whole pain with my pleasure thing. Whatever.
Meg - I'm with you on that. And since we're being all honest with each other (unless I totally misread your comment in which case - NEVER MIND), I totally lurk on your blog. (tee hee hee...I'm such a sneak!!!)
Jinksy - Huh. My knee jerk reaction was to be pissed that I'm not listed under that. I mean, really! WTF?! I have boobies, too, you know. Bex? Check! Blog? Check! Boobies?? Double check!! Hrrmmph.
Now I have to go google that...be right back.... Damn! You're right! What the hell is Big Brother?! And whoever their Bex is she sounds kinda skanky. You have to respect that, though, right??
Sista #2 - You did jump right in and I LOVED it. Come on in, ya'll, the water is FINE.
Shyloh - Thanks! I think "wonderful" might be a gross overstatement, though. I don't think I'm really wonderful at anything. I think of myself more as someone who doesn't suck at some stuff. And the stuff I do suck at I suck at them on purpose. It would be unladylike to expound on that. And being a lady is REALLY important to me.
As for you, you aren't a lurker. You make your presence known in a gentle and sweet way. I really was impressed with you and the way you handled yourself. That whole thing was weird.... I have no idea why some people are such douches sometimes. Not like me. I just don't totally suck.... Thanks for reading!!!
Deb - You're funny! Why did you stop blogging? Did you decide to quit amusing people for free and to go out there and try to make a buck at something?? I do think about that sometimes.... And then I'm like, "nah...they'd probably make me put on pants and stuff..."
But seriously, why did you quit? I'm curious....
And to all of you - have a FABULOUS day! I think I'm having a fit of euphoria. Must be my second cup of joe...regardless, I appreciate the comments and will now sign off as I feel a "I really love you guys" coming on and I totally don't want to show my cards too soon....
I felt like a complete ass with a bag of frozen peas on one boob and frozen corn on the other. And what about those leak pad thingys you put in your bra? It total bullshit and not ONE person said a thing.
Thanks for letting me vent. (was that all out loud?)