Oh, Mylanta!

My mom called a few minutes ago. In the time it took me to turn around, answer the phone and return to the kitchen my two year old GOAT had gotten into my purse, removed the Mylanta and had eaten x number of pills. So I scraped out his mouth, rinsed it with water and called 911/Poison Control. They had good news - he could have eaten about a ton of this stuff and maybe just had a stomach ache or something. So no tummy pumps today. (And there was much rejoicing in the land...)

It kind of pissed me off that there is no child-proof lock yet the bottle heeds the warning, "Keep out of reach of children! IN CASE OF OVERDOSE CONTACT POISON CONTROL IMMEDIATELY."

In these litigious times WHY would a company not put their drugs in a child-proof container? Even medicine that is designed for children has some sort of mechanism to keep these little rascals out. I'm totally all up-in-arms, ready to kick some ass about it.

But then I've come to the realization that if I pursue this at all I'm very likely to hear the response, "Yes, it's true we could spend millions of dollars reformatting the bottle our medicine comes in. Or you could try watching your kid for a change. I'm just sayin'...." Pharmaceutical bastards, think they're so smart. Smarty McFarty Faces.

The irony is that although I'm Officially Pissed at the company, I am now in dire need of their product because worrying about my child overdosing on medicine almost always gives me heartburn. And that, Folks, is way more ironic than a black fly in my chardonnay.

Humor-blogs, take me away!