Skip to main content

A future in funerals

Excuse my absence, friends. I've been out of town at an unexpected funeral.

Pretty much the only funny thing that happened to me this whole week was at the funeral home. My kids were there, aged 2, 7 and 8. They were playing outside and my oldest found a dead bird. She came running into the building, breathlessly describing it. I told her that maybe she should go bury it. She left me presumably to do that just.

A few minutes later the undertaker approached me and informed me that he had assisted Thing One in this endeavor. He said that she was really sweet (he's totally right about that). He also mentioned that she has a beautiful future in the undertaking business. I'm pretty sure that the horror splashed across my face summed up two things:

1. Although I have respect for this guy I sincerely hope that my kid doesn't choose the undertaking arts for a career. (Please, please, please.)
2. I also wondered how much a bird funeral would add to the impressive bill of the human one? And how would it be subcategorized? Feathered Friend Burial???

Feed to humor-blogs.com

Comments

Alice said…
I'm sorry about your funeral attendance and hope it hasn't been too traumatic for you. I've not gone through a big loss yet and can't imagine what it would be like.

If you need a lift with some great funeral home scenes, you should check out the Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich.

Peace.
Merrie said…
Sorry to hear of your loss. And how out of the blue to have an career discussion with an undertaker. Not something you see in every day life.
Take care!
lillinda said…
My granpa used to say that there were two jobs in which you were guaranteed to have employment.An obstritician to bring people into this world and an undertaker to take them out.
Sorry for your loss.
United Studies said…
Hugs to you....and yes, we find that bringing our almost 4-year old daughter to a funeral provides some much-needed comic relief. She works the room, giving out hugs and saying/doing things to make people laugh.
Anonymous said…
Sorry to hear of your loss.
Anonymous said…
when my grandmother died, we took our children to the burial at the cemetery. my son was only about 4 at the time. as we walked through the grounds, we looked at the head stones and statues and suddenly he asked me, "mommy, is this heaven?"

kids say the most amazing things.
Sue Wilkey said…
Sorry for your loss :( I think it's good to bring the kids - she seemed to get a double-dose of the whole "circle of life" lesson that day.
Bex said…
To all,

Thanks so much for your thoughts. It was my beloved grandmother. I lived with her as a child and just adored her. I called her at least once a day, every day. She was one of my best friends.

She fell a few weeks ago and broke her hip. She was in tremendous pain and had the surgery to repair it two days later.

She died last Monday while I was at the airport trying frantically to get to her side. I am, quite frankly, heartbroken.

I really appreciate the sympathy from you guys. It has been awful. I know that I will eventually feel better about it and anxiously await that day. Thanks again,

Bex
Merrie said…
((((Bex)))

Been there -- nothing like a wonderful Gramma. Hope you feel better soon.
Anonymous said…
I'm sorry to hear about the funeral.

All things considered, I was expecting a more punny title to the post, or punny quote at the ending.

Something like:

"Going to funerals is for the birds"
Alice said…
Oh honey pie! I'm sure you're surrounded by better ears than me, but you've got my e-mail hotline if you need to let anything go. I'm a great listener.

Popular posts from this blog

Florida: The Good. The Bad. The Holy SHIT!!!

So you know...I live in Florida now. The good news is that my southern accent is stronger than ever - I think it was some sort of defense mechanism...of or for what, I have no idea. I definitely miss Atlanta and my friends, though, especially now. Spring in Atlanta is SO beautiful. But Florida is pretty nice, too. We go to the beach at least once a week and we all love having a pool in the backyard. Also, my husband makes me a Planter's Punch every night and I don't even feel guilty by knocking it back - we're on vacation, right?? A couple of weeks ago I was reading the news and saw this weird picture: In case your eyes can't make sense of it, I'll give you a hint. It's not a puppy. I'm guessing it's not an air freshener, either. It is, in fact, a Burmese Python that ruptured and now has a really big dead Alligator sticking out of it's stomach. Oh, and something ate the snakes head off. That's why there is no head there. National Geographic has

Oooohhh...I just LOVE when you wrap it around me... do it again, please?

I had heard that "crack" kills. I just never really believed it until I saw it with my own eyes. (Bless his heart.) About 3 years ago I was 6 months pregnant and had two daughters (aged 4 and 5). We were all traveling from Bellingham, WA to Atlanta, GA with a VERY brief layover in Dallas. We were booked on a major airline that should remain anonymous as they are a bunch of asshats (but they rhyme with "Mamerican Mairlines") and we had to leave for the airport at 3:30 AM in order to catch our 7AM flight. It was Suck City. By the time our car arrived in Seattle my husband and I were barely speaking to each other and the girls had marks on their faces and arms from the backseat smack-down they had while out of our reach. When I went to the counter to speak with the representative she informed me that even though our seats had been purchased many months ago and seat assignments had been given all of that had changed and we were no longer sitting together as a family. I

The Wild and Wonderful World of Animal Butts

Hello, Boys. How're they hangin'?? Several years ago my dad and I were hiking in California. It was a beautiful afternoon and we were on a mountain trail. We came upon some kind of farm that had a fence around it. Suddenly I saw it - a pig lying down with his "sac" squeezed out behind him. It looked as though someone had stuffed two basketballs under his skin. My first thought was, "Holy crap, pigs can get elephantitis??!" This was quickly followed by thought number two which was, "I would give anything to be sharing this experience with anyone but my father ." So I did what anyone could do in such a situation. I took a picture of the pig balls. I decided that I would put it on the cover of my Christmas cards that year and when the card was opened it would say, "Deck the halls...." I haven't done it yet but I will...yes, I will. You may be wondering why I brought this up. It has to do with baboons and Darwin. At the risk of dramatical