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Something... funny.... It's gotta be around here somewhere...

I'd like to find something funny to write about. A real knee-slapper, where you laugh so hard that no noise comes out of your mouth but you might accidentally fart kind of laughter. But now I'm THINKING about it. Thinking too hard, methinks. So I tell myself to calm down and just observe life. Hmmm...life.

I go in search of Thing 3. My son sees me seeing him. Our gaze is locked, neither of us smiling. He slowly inserts his index finger into his nose and holds it there for a moment. He then, with startling speed, withdraws it and shoots it into his mouth without ever losing eye contact. That's fucking terrific. I somehow thought that since the first two kids weren't booger eaters I'd gotten away without having to deal with THIS. And, even worse, it's not funny. Not yet. It'll possibly be funny when he is a world class brain surgeon. But then again, maybe the fact that my kid can eat a booger faster than I can say, "NOOOOOO!! It'll stunt your growth!" will never be funny.

OK. So he's not funny right now. I walk into the kitchen in search of the puppy. She's always doing something worthy of a chuckle. I walk in and she's sitting (with lovely posture, I might add) with her back to me. Suddenly she drags herself 5 or 6 feet in her still-sitting position. She looks over her shoulder at me with a look of total desperation on her face. What the...?! Ah. She's scraping her ass onto the kitchen floor. Definitely not funny. And now I have to take the puppy to the vet as her worms are apparently back PLUS I have to mop the fucking floor.

Perhaps I will work on humor tomorrow. I'll tell you what. If you want something funny go check this out: 15 minute lunch. It's a blog written by someone I don't know but I think he's hilarious. I bow to the master...

www.rqmitchell.blogspot.com
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Comments

seriously said…
I beg to differ my dear. Any post that contains the word "booger" has to automatically be deemed as funny. Especially if you are going by the "words kids use to make something funny" list, which also includes, "poo or poopy," "fart," "butt," and, according to my nephew, "belly." We still aren't too sure about him yet.

Anyhoo, found your blog about a week ago. LOVE IT! Been caught snorting because of something I read in it, which automatically rates it quite high on my list. Keep it up!
4:27 PM
Memarie Lane said…
My daughter is an eater, and if I catch her she will offer me one.
7:11 PM
Bex said…
Seriously,

Thanks! In our house the height of humor is calling someone Farty McFart Face! It really brings the house down...I'm glad that you've stumbled over here!

Marie, that is disturbing...yet kind. Hmmm. I hope you politely decline the offerings. Thanks for the comments!

Bex
9:42 AM
Wild Haired Woman said…
That was a good one, I totally farted
7:02 AM
Bex said…
Oh...I thought that was the dog. Thanks for stopping by....
9:55 AM
Suburban Correspondent said…
Yeah, the booger thing only gets funny when they start rubbing them on the furniture. It's a laugh riot, let me tell you...
9:03 PM
Anonymous said…
Marie that is disturbingyet kind Hmmm I hope you politely decline the offerings.
5:37 AM
tigerjim48 said…
Darlin', 15 minute lunch can't hold a candle to you--you were just born funny and you can't help it, even if you wanted to!

Please don't stop,

Jim Kirk
8:08 PM
Johnny Virgil said…
Hey, I have a candle and I'm not afraid to use it.
9:15 PM
Bex said…
Captain Kirk - Thanks for the comment! I have to go right now because I'm waiting for The One and Only Johnny Virgil to come over with his candle!
1:45 PM
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