I'd like to find something funny to write about. A real knee-slapper, where you laugh so hard that no noise comes out of your mouth but you might accidentally fart kind of laughter. But now I'm THINKING about it. Thinking too hard, methinks. So I tell myself to calm down and just observe life. Hmmm...life.
I go in search of Thing 3. My son sees me seeing him. Our gaze is locked, neither of us smiling. He slowly inserts his index finger into his nose and holds it there for a moment. He then, with startling speed, withdraws it and shoots it into his mouth without ever losing eye contact. That's fucking terrific. I somehow thought that since the first two kids weren't booger eaters I'd gotten away without having to deal with THIS. And, even worse, it's not funny. Not yet. It'll possibly be funny when he is a world class brain surgeon. But then again, maybe the fact that my kid can eat a booger faster than I can say, "NOOOOOO!! It'll stunt your growth!" will never be funny.
OK. So he's not funny right now. I walk into the kitchen in search of the puppy. She's always doing something worthy of a chuckle. I walk in and she's sitting (with lovely posture, I might add) with her back to me. Suddenly she drags herself 5 or 6 feet in her still-sitting position. She looks over her shoulder at me with a look of total desperation on her face. What the...?! Ah. She's scraping her ass onto the kitchen floor. Definitely not funny. And now I have to take the puppy to the vet as her worms are apparently back PLUS I have to mop the fucking floor.
Perhaps I will work on humor tomorrow. I'll tell you what. If you want something funny go check this out: 15 minute lunch. It's a blog written by someone I don't know but I think he's hilarious. I bow to the master...
www.rqmitchell.blogspot.com
I go in search of Thing 3. My son sees me seeing him. Our gaze is locked, neither of us smiling. He slowly inserts his index finger into his nose and holds it there for a moment. He then, with startling speed, withdraws it and shoots it into his mouth without ever losing eye contact. That's fucking terrific. I somehow thought that since the first two kids weren't booger eaters I'd gotten away without having to deal with THIS. And, even worse, it's not funny. Not yet. It'll possibly be funny when he is a world class brain surgeon. But then again, maybe the fact that my kid can eat a booger faster than I can say, "NOOOOOO!! It'll stunt your growth!" will never be funny.
OK. So he's not funny right now. I walk into the kitchen in search of the puppy. She's always doing something worthy of a chuckle. I walk in and she's sitting (with lovely posture, I might add) with her back to me. Suddenly she drags herself 5 or 6 feet in her still-sitting position. She looks over her shoulder at me with a look of total desperation on her face. What the...?! Ah. She's scraping her ass onto the kitchen floor. Definitely not funny. And now I have to take the puppy to the vet as her worms are apparently back PLUS I have to mop the fucking floor.
Perhaps I will work on humor tomorrow. I'll tell you what. If you want something funny go check this out: 15 minute lunch. It's a blog written by someone I don't know but I think he's hilarious. I bow to the master...
www.rqmitchell.blogspot.com
Comments
Anyhoo, found your blog about a week ago. LOVE IT! Been caught snorting because of something I read in it, which automatically rates it quite high on my list. Keep it up!
Thanks! In our house the height of humor is calling someone Farty McFart Face! It really brings the house down...I'm glad that you've stumbled over here!
Marie, that is disturbing...yet kind. Hmmm. I hope you politely decline the offerings. Thanks for the comments!
Bex
Please don't stop,
Jim Kirk