Switching up the team....

About 15 years ago I got a call from my sister-in-law. She was graduating from college and needed a chaperone to drive from California to the East coast with her. The reason for this, I would find out later, is that she was a notoriously bad driver. And I don't mean this figuratively. I'm being pretty fucking literal. As in, she literally flipped a car 3 or 4 times on a highway one time. That kind of stuff.

Anyway, I was just as willing way back then (as I am now) to shirk my responsibilities and do something stupid so I said "sure!" and caught a flight across the country to hook up with her.

She is a sweet girl and we had a lot of fun meeting in San Francisco, going to L.A., Vegas, Carhenge...you name it. At one point, somewhere in or around Colorado, I became exhausted and wanted to stop for the night. I was pretty tired of the Motel 6's we'd been frequenting and asked if we could use a phone book to look up a Bed and Breakfast. She'd never heard of this. I assured her that it is not that much more expensive but infinitely more comfortable.

We pulled over and I called the first one with a nice looking ad in the yellow pages. As it was late (almost 10) I got right to the point: "Do you, or do you not, have any rooms available with TWO beds?"

The innkeeper responded, "We do have a beautiful room with two beds. They are separated by a thin wall. We also have a much smaller room that goes for the same price...it has one BIG bed. Which would you like?"

I thought, 'Bless her heart. She must be mentally handicapped as I very clearly stated my wish for two beds.'

So I told her very slowly and carefully, "No...I need TWO beds. T-W-O. That would be terrific. That means 'really good'. Thanks so much...."

When we arrived she showed us around the inn and told us about breakfast. She showed us to the room with two beds and then said, "Remember, there is a room with just one big bed...if you want it."

I reiterated that we wanted the two beds all the while thinking WTF is wrong with this chick?!

The next morning I got up before my sis and headed for coffee. As I walked down the hall I looked through an open door and saw two women sitting up in a big bed, drinking coffee and reading the paper. I thought to myself, "Ha ha! They must have gotten here after us and had to take the one big bed room!"

Still snickering, I joined a few ladies sitting around the dining room table to enjoy a gourmet country breakfast. Behind one of them I noticed a painting of two women caressing each others breasts...kind of funny in a dining room...then I noticed that there were no men here...what are the odds of that...????

It slowly dawned on my that I had brought my shielded (and very Catholic) sister-in-law to a lesbian bed and breakfast. Everyone assumed that we were a closeted couple, hence the repeated offerings of the one big bed. By the time my sis headed downstairs I had already made fast friends and was thinking about leaving my husband for the kind yet funny woman with the Harley. She was into welding and long walks on the beach. I think I could totally get into that....


Smocha said…
Mem'ries oh so beautifullll....

When I moved to Arkansas (oh shut up) a few years ago,we flew my sister up to Chicago to help me drive down here.Cuz I have the night blindness.

She's the lumberjackish looking type.And maybe she kind of acts that way too , cuz she didn't let me drive AT all , even though it was my truck.

But, I digress.....naturally everything goes woefully wrong with my closing on my house . We get stuck in a motel for a week WITH my 3 cats. I didn't want the maid to let the cats out. So everyday , we left the motel room with a "do not disturb " sign on the door .

I just KNEW that they all thought were two big ole lesbians on a cheap ass love tryst.

I've been here 5 years and I'm still afraid for any motel maids to see me.
Bex said…
Arkansas?? Hey...no need to get snippy...I wasn't going to say anything. I mean, I was THINKING it, but I wasn't gonna SAY it.

Motel maids kind of freak me out, too. They must see the nastiest stuff EVER. I hide my toothbrushes from them, too. Because I know how pissed off I'd be if I were a motel maid. And pissed off people...well, they aren't to be trusted with anything I might stick in my mouth.
Jormengrund said…
Love the road trip story Bex.

Some of the most interesting things happen in places that you're sure you'll never be to again.

Like this one time, at this rest stop in Kansas....



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