Florida: The Good. The Bad. The Holy SHIT!!!

So you know...I live in Florida now. The good news is that my southern accent is stronger than ever - I think it was some sort of defense mechanism...of or for what, I have no idea. I definitely miss Atlanta and my friends, though, especially now. Spring in Atlanta is SO beautiful.

But Florida is pretty nice, too. We go to the beach at least once a week and we all love having a pool in the backyard. Also, my husband makes me a Planter's Punch every night and I don't even feel guilty by knocking it back - we're on vacation, right??

A couple of weeks ago I was reading the news and saw this weird picture:

In case your eyes can't make sense of it, I'll give you a hint. It's not a puppy. I'm guessing it's not an air freshener, either. It is, in fact, a Burmese Python that ruptured and now has a really big dead Alligator sticking out of it's stomach. Oh, and something ate the snakes head off. That's why there is no head there.

National Geographic has been studying this and has even done an "event recreation" that they aren't sharing with me (bitches). But according to their website, here is how the above train wreck happened: a 13 foot python ate a 6 foot alligator. While the snake was busy ingesting his meal (I'm guessing getting a 6 foot INTACT gator through your digestive tract would be very distracting) another alligator sneaked up and bit the snakes head off. In that struggle the python surprised everybody by rupturing in the middle, leaving half of the eaten gator hanging out. And this, boys and girls, is why we don't wrestle after Thanksgiving dinner.

At any rate, I'm pretty sure that my mouth doesn't open wide enough to let out the scream that would surely accompany anything even resembling the above scene.

So it's not all Key Lime Pie and Hibiscus flowers. But it's sunny. And besides...I've got my rum punch and I'm not afraid to use it.


April said…
I can't...just... words...none
Bex said…
That's kind of what I was thinking. Right now we live near the Everglades. If I ever see one of those I can promise you that I'll never EVER be the same again. A fully grown python can reach 23 feet long. Just the thought of it makes my hair stand on end!
kc said…
I don't mind snakes, but 23 ft. is a bit much. And snakes and alligators together...oh my!

What I'm thinking is, if the snake had lived to digest the 'gator, that would have been a hell of a deuce he would have dropped!
Chris Wood said…
That's oh so appetising.
Liz C said…
Ew. Eeeww! EEeeeeEEwwwww! I think I have to go lay down for a minute. That is just nasty!

I heard a report on the news recently about the pythons taking over FL. I'm not terrified of snakes or anything, but that would definitely freak me the hell out.

Yay for rum punch!
Jormengrund said…
I'm surprised at you Bex.

I mean, if you'd been thinking, you'd have run your butt over there, and skinned those two critters.

Alligator bag and snakeskin pants..

And you didn't kill a thing, they did it themselves!
Cult Diva said…
Welcome to oh so weird Florida! Just wait, it gets much better ,or worse, depends how you feel about strange places.
Candice said…
What would Bear Grills do?
Yikes! Well, nothing's free, I guess.
Shawn said…
I just watched a show where a cobra ate a python. I guess snakes just have no sense as to what might be too big for them.

Unrelated: Scientists now say there is a significant cobra population in the Everglades.

Soo...welcome to Florida!
Anonymous said…
scary! I heard that's been happening a lot. But at least you have your punch.

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