Check out the schweaty balls on THAT one....

Mr. Bex entered a weight loss contest at work and is driving me bat shit crazy. Thankfully today is the final day of it and, he claims, he'll take me out for lunch anywhere I want to go to thank me for my participation.

While I might have been construed of as "less than supportive" early on by mocking his giving up the nightly cocktail while I enjoyed my steak, I've more than made up for it this morning. Yes, this morning I have given counsel on the ins and outs (mostly outs) of laxatives. I have also wrapped said husband from head-to-toe in saran wrap - and we're not even going to have sex!

Then, when the aforementioned laxative kicked in I was required to rewrap and then help dress him in his already sweat (and god knows what else) covered clothes. I may never be really clean ever again. All of this and it's not even 9am yet.

This is why I will have a bloody mary bigger than my head with my lunch today and I won't even feel bad about. I've fucking earned it. He, on the other hand, may have earned about a thousand bucks and bragging rights, so he's pretty happy. I can hear him, as I type, in the other room doing situps in his saran wrap ensemble. Jesus....

Comments

Jormengrund said…

As long as the cash he earns keeps coming in, I'm sure you'll be willing to at least humiliate him a little more each time...

But if the fundage slows or stops, I can guarantee you that it won't be as worth it, Bloody Mary or not!

Maybe you should just keep him on the excessive laxative diet for a while..

That way, you can tell exactly what he's been eating approximately seven hours after it's been put into his mouth!

12:53 PM

robkroese said…

Either you're making this up or your husband is retarded.

9:41 PM

Bex said…

Jormengrund - Believe me, I was no where NEAR the vicinity to be able to determine what he's been eating. I draw the line at washing his underwear.

Diesel - He prefers "Handi-capable".

8:42 AM

Anonymous said…

So did he win?

10:21 PM

Bex said…

Thank you KC, for bringing up the whole POINT of everything. He may be retarded. But he likes to have sex with me PLUS he did indeed win the contest. One thousand bucks. It was totally worth it. Well..that AND a bloody mary. But still.....

10:52 PM

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