Crazy chicks are dangerous, yo.

Just when I was getting ready to have Lorena Bobbitt's name permanently laminated on the "Craziest Wife EVER" trophy, I read the little ditty about an Australian lassie who saw her husband hug another woman.

Did she ginsu his junk off, a la Bobbitt? No...she went a little pyro on us and doused his genitals with alcohol and then SET THEM ON FIRE.

(Get your hot nuts...get your hot nuts here....)

Apparently the fire in his crotch woke him up with a start and he leaped off the bed. This action knocked the bottle of alcohol over which ignited the whole place and he eventually died from his injuries. They've charged her with murder.

I wonder what defense claim her attorney might be considering.

"I thought I saw a tick and was going to burn it off but didn't want to wake him...."

"I was cold and thought he might be, too."

"Well, he loves The Doors, and I was going to surprise him with an interpretive dance to Light My Fire...."

My point is, if your woman is kinda crazy...maybe you should just not sleep.


Merrie said…
Yeah, I don't imagine she came off as a straight arrow and he didn't see this coming. If a hug leads to hot nuts, what does leaving the toilet seat up do?
Jormengrund said…
Never, EVER underestimate the power of the person that sleeps next to you...

If you decide to screw with said person, be prepared to take your life, body, and soul into your own hands, and let them play as they see fit.

Stupid shit deserved what he got, both for the woman he chose to marry, and the girl he was willing to hug in front of his wife!

Promise me you won't toast me if I say something "too" racey on your blog?
Bex said…
Merrie - I can't help but wonder how the night went earlier. Like did she say, "You, know, if you're not careful you might wake up with your dick on fire one of these days." And then he laughed at her, said, "Whatever, bitch." and then rolled over and went back to bed.

Because it really doesn't seem possible that there weren't SOME kind of warning signs. Like she kept flicking her bic, looking at him in a menacing way or something.

Jormengrund - I am so sorry. I just gave my last torch-free guarantee this morning. So...tread carefully.
Kirsten said…
Ouch! And I thought I was a crazy bitch! : )
I'm thinking she got fed up with his snoring--that can truly drive a woman crazy.
Whup-Ass Master said…
She sounds like my kinda gal. Poor thing was merely trying out her bananas flambe recipe.

I'm going to disagree with Meg. I'm thinking it was something more than snoring myself.

My wife just has a .357 luckily, so it will be quick.

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