Every woman's dream - a homemade MacGyver vibrator (with the optional mullet attachment)

This picture will make sense in a minute. But before we get started, can you get a load of that mullet?! Sweet niblets! Anyway....

My white carpet needs to be cleaned. So I bought some oxy stain remover, rented a carpet steamer and went to work. It worked pretty well but there was a suspected mold stain that didn't come out so I googled "how to get mold out of carpet".

One of Googles suggestions was a link to a website called FunAdvice.com so I checked it out. And that's when I saw it; one of the categories at the bottom of the page invited me to learn how to make a homemade vibrator. A...wha...???

Being the amateur scientist that I am, I felt obligated to check it out. You know, for sciences sake (and maybe a little bit because my husband is out of town).

Apparently MacGyvers lesser educated sister uses this website because I saw the following post:
did you ever get to make this home made vibrator? We are considering this. I love my mans shape of his pen*s. He wants to make one to his own mould with an attachment that goes all the way over my clit. Sucks onto the area around the clit (but only slightly the way I like it) and then have either licking or vibrating actions on the clit area as I wish. The pen*s to vibrate either by pulsing or by constant buzz and with the head moving up and down slightly agains the g spot. Off of thiss interior (the bateries and motor inside the pen*s area) and the exterior thin and sucking onto my whole vulva area thus not moving around as I go about my day. All of this will work with a remote control. If it works.
"If it works." Ha! No need to be modest here! No...this sounds like a fool proof plan. But I wonder if MacGina (prounced mac JI na) has considered the possibility that she is a bit too demanding in bed and that it has, in fact, gotten SO out of control that her man is going to hack into NASA's database to gain the technology to make the thing that might get her off.

Also? Why will she say "clit" but then write "pen*s" when I'm pretty sure she meant penis? That's like saying, "Fuck you, Butthead." If you're going to put the "fuck" out there, you'd better bring the "asshole" with it. That's all I'm really saying.


Steph said…
hahaha wow. I'm sure that "he" really want to make that. The best part is "thus not moving around as I go about my day" and a remote control? wtf? so other ppl can turn it on and off? if she wants to have it on as she goes about her day an on/off switch should be enough.

that said, where do I get one? jk
Jormengrund said…
All of that post is reminding me of a saying I heard off the TV back in the day:

"We can rebuild him.. We HAVE the technology!"

Now, what would you give if you could build the 6 million dollar BOB?

Great to see you're still out there and kicking Bex!!
Anonymous said…
MacGina! I am laughing my fucking butt off! (Get it?) Ha ha....okay, clearly I'm not as funny as you....
Bex said…
Steph - Yep, this is the kind of woman who really likes to be in control of EVERYTHING. (But I'd totally get one, too!)

Jormengrund - I'm still hanging in there. It's hard, though. I feel like I am leaving my family. And I love THIS family!!!

Anonymous - No, you're pretty funny...but I think ANYTHING with "Gina" in it is funny. Ask anybody!!!
weesle909 said…
That last paragraph is priceless....
Bex said…
Weesle - Thanks!

I imagine that she has a high pitched, nasally voice. Kind of like Fran Drescher. "No! Do it the way I LIKE it...to the right. Your OTHER right! NO - do you even KNOW what you are DOING?! That's too far...."

I'm thinking that at some point pretty much any man would either smother her with a pillow or just forget about pleasing her and turn the game back on.
KiKi said…
Holy Christ, this is the first laugh I've had in a week. Brilliant!

MacGina. Dy.ing.
Sully Sullivan said…
Jesus. I'm not sure what else to say really. Just....Jesus.....

Women are out there manufacturing their own vibrators.

That's really adding another dimension to do-it-yourself.
kc said…
OK, so you'll give us the description, but not the instructions? That's just plain mean! It reminds me of that sex chair the guy build in the basement in "Burn After Reading." Hilarious.
If i want to buy waterproof vibrator from http://www.myrabbitvibrators.co.uk//
then can you please tell me the procedure of purchasing.. and what types of vibrators are available!!

Popular posts from this blog

My Marvelous Mammaries

Road tripping