Battle of the Blowhards!

Oh crap. It's another fucking debate. WHY?! Is it possible that they have changed their retarded rhetoric from the last time? No. It is, in fact, not possible.

Tonight will be more of the same. You have the Bex guaranty on that, my friends.

In fact, you have my campaign promise* that I will shoot a monkey out of my ass if any of the following things are stated tonight:

1. One time, at the zoo, I met a jackass. And you, Sir, are a total jackass.
2. I have no fucking clue what to do! It's such a cluster fuck already that I can't even imagine where to start. (and then his shoulders start shaking with the sobs)
3. Candidate one says, "You make me feel funny." Candidate two says, "I wish I knew how to quit you."

Meh. The hubs and I, comme d'habitude, are having a drinking game to force ourselves to watch the ensuing train wreck.

A sip of wine for:

1. Maverick
2. Billion
3. Geriatric

A gulp of wine for:

1. Acorn
2. Ayers
3. Keating

And, if at any time you feel a wave of despair pass over your fragile shoulders, drink the whole bottle and stumble to bed knowing that we were fucked anyway. And that your Bex loves you. **



* term used loosely. In fact, I didn't really mean it all. That's the "campaign" part of the promise!

** actually, I probably just like you. Maybe. I'm feeling kind of fickle today. Check here if you want something different: www.humor-blogs.com


Comments

How about a shot for "it's time for a change"?
Paige said…
I am so glad we will not be the only ones obliterated by the end of this debate.
Bex said…
Meg - Good one!!!

Paige - I'm already shitfaced. Please. Make. It. Stop. Seriously - the room is spinning.

Tomorrow is going to be super awesome.
Bex said…
PS It was the "Acorn" and "Ayers" that slayed me. Bastards.
I couldn't stop thinking "McCain looks like he needs a transfusion. And is that lip gloss??"

Made it difficult to concentrate on what he was saying...
You know what else I would have liked to hear from them? "I love you. YOU complete ME." So moving.
Bex said…
Doug - I hate it when men wear makeup on tv that is obvious. It's so gross. He was so tense...his wife should have "handled that" before she let him go onstage.

Catherinette - Ha!
leigh said…
dammit. i was really looking forward to that monkey shooting promise.

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