Just a few piercing questions...

Over the weekend I was introduced to a lovely young woman. Beautiful hair, beautiful, eyes, a nice figure...she really was something. And then she spoke. She said, "Ithss veewwwy nice to meet you, Bexth."

And I thought, "Oh, bless her heart! This pretty little thing has a horrible speech impediment! She sounds like Elmer Fudd, poor thing...." And then I noticed the flash of silver in her mouth. No, not a filling - her tongue was pierced with a metal rod with a ball on the end.

Now I had a friend who did this years ago. She invited me out for margaritas and a discussion of her piercing:
Me: What the fuck did you do that for?!

Her: Oh, Bexth, you don't understand! It's fowrw sex....

Me: ?!

Her: Owal sex - you see, it makes it feel bettewww!

Me: Owal sex? What is that....OH. You mean ORAL! Listen, did it ever occur to you that you were just doing it wrong? Maybe you should have asked somebody for a little help before you went and did something drastic, like shove a metal rod through your tongue.

Her: You just don't get it.

Me: Say Elmer Fudd.

Her: fuck you

Me: Come on!! Say it! Say it...say 'There is a terrific trolley!' Come on....
So she'll put a metal rod in her tongue to make oral sex feel better for her partner but she won't indulge me in trying to pronounce a few words that might sound funny. Whatever. These piercing types are so sensitive. And speaking of sensitive, does this mean that if you put a metal rod through the center of your palm that hand jobs would feel better??? And is that adequate incentive to do it?? Just curious...

What is this chicks excuse? Perhaps she wants to be strummed like a guitar? Or maybe it really turns her on when people look at her with their teeth gritted and their eyebrows squished together in the "holy shit that looks like it hurts" kind of way.



And then there is this guy. I wonder if there is any kind of "master plan" or if he just shoots from the hip when he goes to the Piercing Pagoda.



I think the forehead implants are especially special. Something tells me that he was simply looking for a way to de-emphasize his facial features and this made sense to him at the time. Sorry, Sweetie. You should really go and get your money back because we can still see your zombie eyes and mad scientist eyebrows. In fact, they are remarkably prominent, considering... you know... everything else.

Comments

Chat Blanc said…
I hope I live long enough to see those two in the pictures when they're like 70 and droopy and wrinkly. those piercing should be looking pretty hot by then.
Philly said…
Ewww Ewwww. I just don't get the piercing thing.

#1
Sensei said…
As someone who has their tongue pierced, I can tell you the process to get it done is a nightmare. Swollen tongue. Slurpee-only diet for weeks. Bottles and bottles of listerine. That was ten years ago. I still have it and the only benefit is having my son look at it when I talk to him and say, "shiny dada. what's that?"
I always wonder what kind of jobs people like that dude have. I mean, really, how many ink and piercing artists does the world need?
PlainOleMike said…
The first thing I thought was, "I don't understand people." Then I began to wonder if perhaps that kid was striving to be accepted into some sort of coalition of super villians - if not, what a weirdo.
Merrie said…
Oh geez...that's someone's son there. I hope to God it's never mine! I'm all for expressing yourself, but do it in an unpermanent way!!
Kirsten said…
Some people need too much attention! They're gonna be sorry in a few years. Wow! I just sounded like my mom! Nevermind.
Sarah♥ said…
Peircing the body can actually become and addiction.

The sense of pain, releases endorphins and makes the person feel good.

Kind of like, "cutting"

So, I have to say-- in the extreme cases, this is most likely the rationale behind it.


Lol.. learned that in My nursing psych class.

creepy huh!
Jormengrund said…
The one guy just looks like he forgot which end of the piercing gun was the "business" end, to be honest. He's got that "I'm a winner, and I know it" type of look quite successfuly employed by many upper-management people in my workplace!

With the girl? She wanted to know what a shoestring felt like being passed through the eyelet of a shoe. Now she knows, but she still has to tie her armpits every morning..
sista #2 said…
OK those pictures skeeved me.


peace
#2
Jeff said…
I had my ear pierced in the 80s... and the holes are still there. So yeah, it's kind of a permanent thing.
Chris Wood said…
Piercings can be extremely unpleasant - I knew someone with a tongue stud, and the chipped teeth that came with it put me off even if the lisps & everything else didn't! Yeesh.
leigh said…
doing it wrong. bwa!! good one.

austin is full of people like this. the city slogan? keep austin weird.
Leeuna said…
Wow. I bet you could lift this dude up off the floor with a magnet. uggh!
Anonymous said…
a woman that pierces their tongue so that the sex feels better for the man deserves the wife of the year award!

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