I have Vaseline underneath my right index finger nail. No amount of soap and water seems to vanquish it. Sshhhhh. Don't tell anyone, K? Because that could lead to awkward questions. But I'll tell you what - today, just for shits and giggles, let's skip the questions completely and just go to the answers. And, GO.
Projectile vomiting.Did this make you smile?
One massive pile in the doctor's waiting room. Once in the car. Twice at home.
Yes, that IS a lot of puke for a two year old.
Anal suppositories. TWICE.
No I am not honoring my pledge to lay off of the cosmo's for a while and fuck you for bringing that up after the day I've had.
Or were you just envious that you didn't get to spend the morning pinning down a pissed off and puking two year old long enough to further enrage him by shoving a suppository up his ass? (thought so)
Either way, feel free to click my HB smiley below. And, as always, if you're shopping around for funny blogs this is the place.
Comments
Truly...god bless you!
"Operations Manager Who Is Skilled At The Art Of Inserting Suppositories Looking For High Paid, Low-Expectation Job"
Diesel - I'll take your sympathy. But relief? Was it relief that I wasn't really up to Housewife Shenanigans or was it because when the going gets tough and somebody needs a pellet up his butt, I know how to roll up my sleeves and get 'er done???
Muskrat - Hope your little guy is ok. I'd imagine we go to different doctors. Aren't you ITP? I'm OTP... (yeah, you know ME...)
Sandy - Thanks. But you know, now I feel kind of bad. Sorta cheesey. Cuz that was yesterday and he's feeling better today. So now I have "pity points" up on the board. Oh well. I've given a few out in my day, too.
when did you give up cosmos? i'm now on day 9 of the margarita moratorium. it's NOT getting easier, and my pants are STILL tight (mother f*cker!).
The joys of being a parent!
Now, just where did hubby put the diaper and binky?
Leigh - Yeah. My older two don't really do this anymore. And by "this" I mean not know that they are going to puke until their shoes are filled. It's always a complete and utter shock to the little guys.
It could be worse Bex. I promise.
Call me over, Ill do it for you.
The key is to use a tampon aplicator... i swear.