Dancing Donkeys

Looks like Grandma might have had a little drinky before the convention got started....

I think that pretty much every politician is stupid, a piece of shit or, worse, a stupid piece of shit. Every single time I cast a vote it is with a heavy heart, trying to figure out who is least likely to really fuck up the country.

So needless to say I don't really follow the Democrat and Republican National Conventions. And when I do watch it it's only to see which old white guy is trying to boogie it up to a song that he secretly loathes but feels like he needs to dance to it anyway to appear relevant to younger generations.

Last night, as I was switching channels, trying to find something good on, I caught a glimpse of Senator Joe Biden at the DNC getting funky in his seat (bless his heart). His little pink head was flushed and sweaty with the excitement it all. And Lenny Kravitz, if he was watching, will probably never play that song again.

I was hooked, watching all of the politico-wackos with their 15 pieces of flair on their shirts, huge bedazzled hats and improbable facial hair. I continued watching until the interview with President Jimmy Carter. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO HIS LEFT EYE???! That poor interviewer. He must have been staring at it. But then he'd feel himself staring at it so he'd try to only stare at the right one. And then Jimmy would be like, "Hey, Pal. Why the hell are trying to bore a hole through my right eye? That's how this happened..."

I feel like I might have gone blind myself, seeing it. Bless his heart but holy SHIT. I can't find a good picture right now, but when I do I'll post it and then your eye will bleed in sympathy. Why the hell didn't someone put a patch on him or something? They could have bedazzled the hell out of it with a donkey or peanut or something.

Speaking of bedazzling, it is with a very heavy heart that I introduce you to this lady, who, based on the phallic peanut on her head, I would guess she is from my home state of Georgia. Sweet niblets. She looks like she's waiting for the mother ship to come back and pick her up. If only it were that simple.

"Excuse me, Madam, but you seem to have a flamingo on your head...perhaps your enormous shades prevented you from noticing...."

Now I find myself looking forward to the RNC. You just know that they are going to have killer hats!

Please click on the smiley icon below and vote for me and my convention hats!


Smocha said…
I think that's a corn on the cob....not a peanut:)
Bex said…
Why so it is! What a huge relief. But Nebraskans have got to be a little pissed off, don't you think??
Tricia said…
Definitely a corn cob on her head. And the big sign for Harkin probably means she's from Iowa (home of Senator Harkin) and you know what IOWA stands for right? She's a clear example with that hat.
OMG! I clicked on my reader and that peanut hat lady came up...

and that's not a peanut, but is, actually, a giant ear of corn, and that lady USED TO BE MY BOSS!!

I kid you not!!
Bex said…
Tricia - I am very clearly a moron for not knowing the difference between a peanut hat and a corn hat. When I wrote that I had just written about Jimmy Carter so I must have had peanuts on the brain.

FADKOG - Shut the fuck UP! Are you kidding me??? You used to have to report to the corn head??? What line or work??
I'm so glad that I don't have television right now. Biden getting funky with a Lenny Kravitz song?!? Yikes. What's next: McCain moshing to Metallica? Oh, wait, this will be the Republican convention, it probably will be a hoe-down with Toby "Mr. Boot-in-Your-Ass" Keith.
kc said…
You are so Southern. Queen Jill says that you can say ANYTHING about someone if you pair it with "bless his heart."

Clearly, you have mastered this, as well as demonstrating your astute political commentary. I would vote for you.
Chat Blanc said…
OH NOES!!! That corn hat lady IS from Iowa!! Shit, I knew I hated being from this state for more than my usual 100 reasons. *ugh*

btw, what is WRONG with these people who get all gussied up like that for a political function?? I'm kinda embarrassed for democracy right now.
She is, truly, a brilliant fund raiser for nonprofit agencies, and she's big time into civil rights causes and, clearly, the political thing. When I worked with her, I was in public relations for a nonprofit, and she was my direct supervisor even though she was on the fundraising side of things.

But then I got laid off in a mass exodus of people and she's showing up on the internet in a corn hat, so hmmm. what interesting twists! Ha!
Bex said…
Unfinished Rambling - You're probably right - there might be some two stepping involved. *shudder*

Thanks, KC! Alas, I am more the kind of person who would have SEX with the candidate, verses actually BEING the candidate myself. It's just how I roll... (but thanks anyway!)

Chat Blanc - When I get dressed up I wear shoes that don't feel good. I'm not much of a hat person, I guess. But you can bet your ass that if I do become a hat girl, the corn hat will not be joining me at lunch or anywhere else.

FADKOG - Wow! What are the odds??? My guess is these folks know that they'll be photographed and just wear zany hats for the hell of it. OR she really wishes she had a corn cob on her head.

I do a bit of fundraising myself and always appreciate those who are truly talented at it. It's not for wimps, that's for sure. Thanks for letting me know about it - I was dying of curiosity!

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