Skip to main content

Work That Pole, Baby!!

So you know, I had a poll last week to tip my hat to the devastating breakup up of Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel. SNIFF. OK, I'm totally over it. Anyhoo, for those of you who weren't here for the hilarity, the contest was to find out who had the best synonyms for Sweater Meat and Trouser Snake. And then I got busy kicking my own ass on the GMAT exam, had a few pity parties, then had a few cosmos and now I'm over that. So I can get back to the business of wiping noses and asses, writing blogs and inventing excuses for why the laundry STILL isn't done.

Synonym for Sweater Meat
(although the picture pretty much sums it up)

Not bad, eh? The winner of this poll entered under the name Anonymoose and you guys don't know him. But I do. Biblically, you might say. Yes it is my very own Mr. Bex who entered and won -with a whopping 54.8 majority - with the excellently crude title of "Chesticles". Well played, Sir. You may pick up your prize after you get home from work.


Synonym for Trouser Snake
(You had me at 'Oh yeah, well does he have one of these?!'!)


I looked long and hard for my picture demonstrating trouser snake. After all - this is the Blog of Bex for chrissakes. People have expectations, you know. After careful scrutiny of many fine specimens I finally settled on the quintessential Trouser Snake - the actor who gave us Dirk Diggler in Boogie Nights.

The clear winner - with a 36.1% of the vote is none other than Sinister Dan of the Reasonable Ego fame. I highly recommend checking out his blog as he is really funny. PLUS he correctly answered that the best synonym for Trouser Snake is (drum roll, please...) Mr. Vice President!!!

Thank you, Dan, for being so Crude. Your prize is a little different from that of anonymoose. You get to know that you won. How awesome is that?! You are officially Dan the Man!!

Thanks to all who entered and voted!

Funny blogs run rampant right here.


Labels:

Comments

Meg said…
Thanks for the picture of Mark, I mean Dirk. I now have a new screensaver.
12:03 PM
Merrie said…
The names I voted for won. ha! And sorry about the test. Glad to hear you had a few cosmos -- I find those often help me through the tough times.
12:24 PM
Bex said…
Meg - When I say that 'it was my pleasure' I hope that you understand that it was truly my pleasure. I live to serve, actually. Not many people get that about me....

Merrie - Sweet! They were the ones I liked best, too. And yes, I just love a cosmo...(::gets dreamy expression on her face::) Four more hours and I'm all over that!
1:57 PM
Anonymous said…
nice boob pic.

wtf is up with HB? i lost 40+ points too. damon can't look up my skirt anymore.
2:20 PM
Bex said…
Thanks, Leigh. If the police ever have to review my computer they are going to be in for a busy day.

I don't know about HB. I take comfort knowing that I'm under the Offended Blogger now. She's at least making an effort by wearing thigh highs...

Although I was getting into the whole kilt thing with Johnny. Meh. Humor Blogs, Schumer Blogs.
3:42 PM
Anonymous said…
I will use "chesticles" now and then I will save "the McGuffy Twins" for such as is shown above. Now DAT is what I'm talkin bout!
4:09 PM
Sue Wilkey said…
I didn't retain one word of your post because I was salivating over Marky Mark. I have a new word for HIM: "My next husband".
9:30 PM
Beck said…
I Object to having both winners be of "male" origin. Chesticles - C'mon! Boobs - even bad ones- are waaaay prettier than testicles anyday. What's up Everyone!
9:50 PM
Bee said…
Where did you get a picture of my boobs? Andy selling them online again? Fucker!

No, seriously. I once took a picture of my cleavage and sent it to him via MM message and he showed it to his friend! He's lucky he's got a nice trouser snake on him...

P.S.
I later passed on my old cell to my mom, guess what I forgot to erase?
10:24 PM
Orion said…
how do you make 5 lbs of fat look good?


put a nipple on it.
5:17 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

And The Winner Is...

I have some very exciting news. For the first time ever the Blog of Bex is giving out an award . Yes, I know. I can feel my heart pounding, too. I will call it the Bite My Ass Award (BMAA) and I'm sure it will be coveted. Now you might be wondering just who will be the lucky recipient. Could it be Diesel, the mastermind of Humor-Blogs and Mattress Police , who - for reasons unknown to me - revamped the scoring system and and reset my score to zero? Nope. This action has actually mysteriously seemed to work in my favor. I'm sure it's temporary. ANYWAY, on to the big news. I hereby give my BMAA to this guy: Handsome little fucker, isn't he? His name is James Jackson, IV and his friends call him Jay. I like to call him Fucktard because I believe that your name should say something about the kind of guy you are. And he's a total fucktard. What, you may wonder, did he do to generate such ire from me? Well I'm so glad you asked. He owns two boutiques in suburban At...
23 comments
Read more

Pervy McPervert strikes again!

When I was a kid I used to make the occasional prank call. But then I turned 13 and decided that it was a fairly retarded way to spend ones time. I've also received a few "heavy breathing" calls in my day. My mom finally bought us a whistle and said that whenever "he" called that we were to blow the whistle as loud as we could into the phone. That worked although I do wish she had specified that before blowing the whistle I should take the receiver away from my head as my ear made this weird ringing noise for days afterward. But it got rid of the pervert. It's a new day, however, and perverts must be looking for new ways to annoy us. Twice today someone has texted a picture to me. I have no idea who he is or what the hell he wants. But he must think that I don't know that sometimes shirtless men squeeze their arms against their chest to give the appearance that they actually have biceps when, in fact, their arms really look like toothpicks that are broke...
23 comments
Read more

Protesting at Funerals: A Look at the Deranged and Demented

I normally like to write about funny things. (At least they are things that I find funny.) They are usually attempts to be funny in a ha-ha kind of way, although sometimes I will throw in something that's funny in a weird way, just to shake things up. But what I want to write about now isn't funny at all. It is shocking and horrific. There was a girl from my home town who was murdered at Auburn University last week. Her name was Lauren Burk and she was 18. She went to our local high school and although I didn't know her many of my friends children did. She's being buried today. Her family is, naturally, heartbroken. It was a random, tragic and violent attack. That's really bad enough. My husband drove by the funeral home yesterday and noticed that there was a small army of Harley Davidson riders holding American flags. They appeared to be guarding the memorial service. It turns out that they were asked to be there to protect the family because a group called the We...
17 comments
Read more