Uptown Girls, down - Ho's, up

I just read an interesting article regarding the divorce of Christie Brinkley and some dude I've never heard of before. So I went online and did some research where I found the following picture:

Is it me or does it look like she's practically sitting on a shard of glass?? AND as if that weren't bad enough the string up her ass is off center (it's a smidge to the left). I wonder how long it took her to sit down whilst not taking a sea shell up the kiester. And the expression on her face doesn't look sexy to me. She actually looks like she's on Xanax. And I wonder how long it took her to get the sand out of her hoo hah. My guess is that she still has a few kernels in there.

Her soon to be ex's name is Peter Cook, whose lawyer was quoted as saying that Christie was "absolutely furious and wants to get even." Now my interest was piqued - why was America's favorite Uptown Girl so pissed off? Well, it looks like he had an affair with a high school senior. He paid this girl more than $300,000 to keep her mouth shut. And since she's slated to testify against him it looks like he should have coughed up more money.

He also has "an internet porn habit" that costs THREE THOUSAND dollars a month! What the fuck is this guy doing??! I cannot imagine...oops...yes I can. He's a naughty boy, that's for sure.

So Christie is pissed off. DUH. I can't think of any woman who wouldn't be. But here is the thing. It has been alluded that he's an unfit father and shouldn't have custody due to his bumping dirties with an 18 year old and spanking his monkey to computer porn that costs $36,000 annually (that still blows my mind. It must have really blown his mind to pay that much).

It sounds to me like he's definitely an unfit husband. But that has nothing to do with his aptitude as a parent. If we banned all of the men who have affairs with younger women and watch internet porn then we would turn into a giant woman's commune, but with the kids. No thanks. I'll take my pervy, farty, hairy assed counterparts (I don't mean you, Honey. You're dead sexy!!).

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leigh said…
i agree. most men are pervs and they're always trying to get in our pants, and we just have to live with that. if they're NOT always trying to get in our pants, well, they're gay.

what i do have a problem with is that SHE paid for everything while they were married. including the porn. apparently, he's the male equivalent of a golddigger - a himbo.
Sully Sullivan said…
Paying for online escort services could "appear" as porn sites on the credit card bill I assume.

There's really no other way to justify $36 Gs in one year on internet porn. I'm quite the veteran of the internet porn circuit myself (not these days, but I did come of age in the initial internet boom from 1995-2000) and there is no way I can possibly imagine spending like 3 grand a month on porno. There's some hidden explanation here, and if he's willing to admit to a $3000/month porn habit to mask some other thing, then that other thing is probably utterly disgusting.
Alice said…
I had my question all lined up, but Sully did a pretty good job of answering it for me.
I have that bathing suit in red.
damon said…
There's just no pleasing some people.
Some guys, (ahem), spend 3 grand a month lookin for nude pictures of Christie Brinkley.
damon said…
There's just no pleasing some people.
Some guys, (ahem), spend 3 grand a month lookin for nude pictures of Christie Brinkley.
Bex said…
Leigh- a himbo. I love it.

Sully - Seriously, I had no idea but now that you mention that it seems so obvious! I wonder why the media hasn't alluded to that?

I'm no expert but isn't 3 grand a month kind of skimpy when it comes to a hooker budget? Unless he's into getting hummers from the gender-questionable toothless working girls. It just doesn't seem like enough money to be really into something. But like I said, I'm no expert.

Alice - Sully is quite the guy. I'm thinking about naming our next guppy after him. (But don't tell him. I want it to be a surprise.)

Brazen Teacher - Really? Then maybe you know - did it come with the shard of glass or was that an optional accessory??

Damon - If you say so. (to the second power)
Now, Leigh, there you go again. Maybe we're not trying to get into your pants because, you know, we're just not that into you. Or those French tip toe nails are really frickin' scaring us.

No, no, wait. I'm gay after all. Better break it to the wife and kids.

Real question: Can something be that wrong with Christie Brinkley (CHRISTIE FRICKIN' BRINKLEY!!) that you'd even be tempted to bang teens and spending $36K a year on porn?

I don't know. But, I am willing to investigate the matter further.

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