The Hot Girl and the Schlub End Game

You've probably heard the news by now. Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman broke up. What is the world coming to???!


The morons on the radio were discussing the breakup ad-nauseum this morning and I heard one douche say that Sarah is really hilarious and then douche #2 said that she's not so much funny as she is crude.

I've been thinking about that ever since. She is crude. I can be crude. She made a video talking about how she f*cked (that asterisk is for you, Leigh!) Matt Damon. I would have made that video with him, had he only asked. Sarah and I are practically twins!!!

Anyway, I thought that maybe - in honor of Jimmy and Sarah - I would do a little thing to help us over the rough patch that is sure to happen when our (imaginary) friends breakup. With that I give you...The Crude Quiz!!!

I can feel the buzz in the air...OK, that might be one of my kids crying while I obsess over this. AT ANY RATE:

What is the best, most original synonym for one or both of the following phrases:

1. Sweater Meat
2. Trouser Snake

Leave your answers in my comments section and then I'll have a super-awesome internet poll to determine the winner.

Funny blogs run amok when you click right here!
PLUS you can vote for me so that I can stay on the map with the Big Boys. I like Big Boys.


Anonymous said…
Anonymoose -
1. chesticles
2. Purple helmeted warrior of love
sinisterdan said…
1. Mammalian Chest Globes
2. Mr. Vice President
leigh said…

btw - i hate sarah silverman. i haven't liked that bitch since school of rock. nasally, whiny, agh!

ok, now down to business:
1. paw patties
2. pink oboe
3. you didn't ask this one, but i like clam, cooter and pooter.
leigh said…
oops. did i say bitch?! yes, i did! so much for creative profanity.
Alice said…
I'm waiting for Babycakes to get home. He'll have much better answers than I could give.
1. Fun bags, lunch, the McGuffy Twins
2. Soon as I find where wife put mine, I'll get back to you.

Always a hoot(ers), Bex.
Bee said…
Um, sorry. My mind is too pure to try and come up with such atrocities! ::sign of the cross::

Silverman rocks! I never got that relationship but I thought either he was really funny in person to deserve those 1) mouth holders or he had a 2) huge kickstand.

When you swear? It's like music to my eyes.
kc said…
1. McMuffuns
2. kickstand, guided missle, chew toy

BTW, this is an awesome contest!
Bex said…
Great entries, everyone! I knew you wouldn't let me down. Leigh makes a good point about other orifices. I'll give you bonus points for the extra work, Leigh! And I'll probably do the poll tomorrow.

As for Sarah Silverman, to me she's like a really big piece of key lime pie. I love key lime pie and get very excited about having it. But then I get half way through the slab and think, "Oy...this has a lot of tart lime...and the whipped cream is starting to make my mouth sweat....

And then I feel like if I eat just one more tiny bite my stomach will turn inside out and hurl its' contents from my mouth. At this point I almost want to puke just so it will no longer be inside me with its tart foam coating everything.

I think I might be getting too personal so I'll sign off now. Besides. I need to STUDY!!!!!
kathcom said…
1. Melons, hooters, yabos
2. One-eyed Wonder Worm

(Good luck on the GMAT!)
Bex said…
kathcom - Man...I just finished the poll this morning so you're too late to enter. Sorry!

Thanks for the luck...I am afraid I'll need it.
sailorjim said…
I know I'm too late, but I couldn't resist:

1. funbags
2. heat-seeking moisture missle
Honjii said…
1. Dirty Pillows (this is from Stephen King's book, Carrie)
2. Willie the one eyed wonder worm, but I really like the direction sinisterdan had for #2 though I would have gone with Dubya.

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