Hey, Everybody...It's Kick My Own Ass Friday!

Well, well, well. Let's take inventory of the day, shall we?? I earned a low score on the GMAT exam for starters. I needed at least 600 and received the lackluster 540. Granted, it's not the end of the world and it's not like my only option at this point is the Barbizon School of Beauty or anything, but I REALLY thought I'd do better.

In fact, I took a simulation of the exam a week ago and was hungover with only 4 hours of sleep and scored a 580 for crying out loud. So I guess next time I take it I should pull a boozy all-nighter. Why didn't I think of that?!

And then, yesterday I yelled at my 8 year old as I couldn't find the sports cup I'd bought her the day before and was sure that she'd lost it somewhere. This morning I found it, clean and put away, in the kitchen cabinet as I was frantically looking for a coffee mug so that I could hurry up and get to my exam where I would completely tank. How did I know someone actually put it where it belongs???! That almost never happens around here.

So, I'm an asshole who yells at my kid for no reason and who stunk up the joint at the GMAT exam. FINE.

I'm going to go get a pedicure. I want my toes to be nice and sparkly when I finally get around to kicking my own ass.

As for my super awesome poll, I don't want to cloud up the special day of the winner so I'll announce that in a separate post.

In the mean time, if you guys know anyone in admissions at the Georgia State University Robinson School of Business hook a sistah up! I have much, much more to offer than just a shitty GMAT score. Don't forget about my lower back (ass) tattoo! That's pretty snappy, I'm told. Plus I have that snarky attitude that causes occasional, unpredictable and likely unwarranted yelling at children I might have had.



It just is not possible that humor-blogs won't have a funnier blog than this. If I were you I would run, not walk.

Bex, OUT

Comments

Alice said…
Here's my plan...at least for the math section of this thing. You give me your ID and I take it for you when I come to ATL. I don't know how the GMAT is set up, but if there is a verbal section, we'll need to make a switch sometime. Or I'll totally f*** that up for you.
Alice said…
What's your tattoo?
I can't even manage to help my soon-to-be sixth grader figure out fractions (I assume what he's doing is correct!), so I am nothing if not impressed that you got a 540. Were it me, I'd be hoping there were points granted for getting your name on the form and for neatness.
Beck said…
Sorry to hear you whiffed the GMAT. You know bigger vocag than many MBAs I know.

Also, why the *ef* do you need that MBA. Do a video Podcast of your blog (small investment). It will generate 5,000 hits min from what I'm told (it's like the new frontier - although it's been around awhile).

Then take your 5,000+ viewership hits over to whatever marketing job you want and tell them they'r stupid not to hire you. You can do the math, stats, SWOT analysis.

My diatribe is over. We moms need to stick together and encourage each other - so that's what I'm doing - when I'm not kicking my own ass. I'll be doing the Podcast thing with my Plein Air painting group - we'll see if I get any air time. I already got us a TV seg on PBS without the POD, FYI)
Drunk Blogger said…
Hmmm. I have the GMAT coming up soon, I'd rather not think about it. I do need at least a 600 to be "competitive" and get into the school of my choice.

I am thinking about taking lots of misc. drugs to make me smarter. Like Provigil.
Bex said…
Alice - Dude, you'd have to take my hand with you. They fingerprint you every time you enter and leave the room. Fort Knox had nothing on these guys.

My ass tat? It's a tribal sun. Because, you know, I'm so tribal.

For a different kind of girl - I'm pretty sure I got 535 points for my name. The remaining 5 points might have been for my big rack. I'm not sure.

Beck - Hi! That's cool about your plein air group getting air time on PBS! When does it air?

Maybe I'll check into the podcast thing. I have no idea what that is. My undergrad degree was in Philosophy which makes it SO easy to get a job (not). But I have a lot of experience in banking and operations management so I'm trying to figure out what the hell I want to do when my 2.5 year old gets into kindergarten. So I guess I'm trying to maximize my opportunities. I would LOVE to figure out how to write for a living but as of yet nothing has fallen in my lap.

Drunk blogger - Provigil? Never had it. But I'm guessing, given my shitty score, that it wouldn't have hurt me. I could have eaten two valium and put a monkey in my pocket while in there and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have done any worse. 48th percentile. Bite my ass.

Anyway, thanks for the cheering up everyone. I appreciate it!
sinisterdan said…
I don't know anyone at that school, but I like you enough to use my frequent flyer miles and pretend to be your lawyer.

When I'm done, you'll have tenure if you want it...or I might just take hostages.

Whatever you want.
sista #2 said…
I sucked on my entrance test to my new school. WTF? It has only been 30 years since I have taken a test....give me a break. You need 83, I got 81 on English. OHHH Algebra...scored in the low 20's. I suck. Luckily I dont need any math knowledge for the course I am taking.

Good luck and show them all your tattooSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!

peace
#2
Holy crap!! I thought I was the only one who did that on the GMAT! But, fear not, I managed to finagle a conditional admission to an MBA program and redeemed myself with A's in the classes I've taken. I'm sure you can work it out!

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