Is that a Batter Blaster in your pants or are you just happy to see me??

All right, ya'll. Hang onto your hats. Today we're going to delve into Product Development and Analysis. It's gonna be super awesome. And, go....

So there I was, cruising through Costco looking for ginormous containers of food for my family. I was near the dairy section when something new caught my eye. Without further ado, here is the product:



Apparently it is AMAZING! In case you can't see the image well it is, in essence, pancake and waffle mix in a pressurized can. Oh! And it's organic! Because everyone knows that parents who are willing to feed their kid breakfast from a pressurized can (with some syrup on it) really give a shit about the product being organic. Is it me or is this kind of like making organic Twinkies??

So it occurred to me that I should make sure that there aren't organic Twinkies available if I was going to make sarcastic comments about them. I've just been to google and as a result I am now aware that there is something called "The Twinkie Problem" and that it basically consists of health food advocates who are pissed off that it is possible to have an organic twinkie. They are mad because a Twinkie is the quintessential junk food and therefore shouldn't be able to make something certified organic because everybody knows that it's chock full of unhealthy crap. Huh.

I can't imagine being the guy who gets pissed off at something like that. He and his wife are at a cocktail party and someone broaches the subject. The guy starts sweating profusely and pursing his lips. The wife says, "Now, Dear...remember your blood pressure...."

Back to the AMAZING organic waffles in a pressurized can. I have a feeling that these are going to be like those frozen peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with no crust. The first time I saw these at the store I thought to myself, "Jesus. The day that I don't have time to make a fucking PB&J is the day that I'm gonna end it all..." And here I am with a freezer full. So, I think the waffles are ridiculous. But I am already warming up to the idea and will probably, at some point, buy a can. Of pressurized organic waffles. That are apparently AMAZING!

I'll keep you posted.

You'll never believe what Humor-Blogs keeps in a pressurized can! Check it out...



Comments

Memarie Lane said…
You know, I might be tempted if they didn't already sell waffles and pancakes already made in the freezer section. I mean, isn't this going back a step?
OMG Too funny. The freezer waffels don't have the "love" that actually having to heat up a pan does. Oh and I said the same thing about pb & j.
Dave said…
Save me the whippets!
Shieldmaiden96 said…
When they make chocolate chip cookie dough in a can, which I can squirt directly into my mouth like whipped cream (or perhaps in tandem with whipped cream), I will conclude that this is, as Mr. Armstrong claimed, A Wonderful World.
Bex said…
Memarie - yeah, but, there really is nothing like a waffle or pancake fresh off of the griddle. But, like I said, yeah. It's at least one step back, possibly TWO.

Keeper - I agree about the "love". I was just thinking: I happen to LOVE pancake batter. And I - as I type - have a can of whipped cream in the fridge and at least 2-37 times a day will walk by and eat a squirt (that just sounds dirty). I'm not sure I'm strong enough to withstand the temptation that would surely exist with a CAN of pancake batter RIGHT THERE at my beck and call. I'm only human, after all.

Dave - Oh. I forgot about those. They are all yours, big guy.

Shieldmaiden - I LOVE how your mind works! Twisted and true...you are very clearly my kind of woman.
Sue said…
SWEEEEEEET!!!!!!!!!!!!

If it's at Costco, though, do I need to buy 3 dozen?
Jacki said…
I am sorry, but I don't eat any food out of a pressurized can. I saw an advertisement for Cool Whip in a can, and I am just wondering, why?? It's just gross!
Shawna said…
This kinda creepys me out. What will come in a pressurized can next? Steak and mashed potatos? Ravioli? Eggs benedict?
Alice said…
Holy cow! How did you get outta there without actually purchasing that stuff? Go back immediately -we'll need a full report and taste test!
Bex said…
Sue - I think it was "only" a three pack, although I have a hard time imagining a situation requiring more than two cans of pressurized batter. But I always have been a bit slow when it comes to these things...

Jacki - I hate cool whip. BUT. Real whipped cream in a can? Booyah! I'm all over that. I'm pretty sure that I have a problem.

Shawna - ::snickering:: how about pressurized meat loaf? with a side of pressurized cream corn?? The corn can double as a gag item because people can squirt it places when they want someone to think that they've puked. Cuz that's such a great gag and all.

Alice - I KNOW that the next time I'm there I will be absolutely compelled to purchase it. What can I say? I'm a slave to the marketing. I'm outta town for the next week or so but when I get back it's gonna be All Pancakes, All the Time at my place.
Meg said…
If you take the pressurized pancake mix and add some pressurized whipped cream, you have a homemade Twinkie. Yes, a fun activity with the kids and a great way to stick it to the Health Food Fanatics.
Diesel said…
I saw the ad for this stuff. It made me think of something that they might have tried to market in the 50s and we would look back on and laugh at now. "Remember when they tried making pancakes in a CAN? Ha ha ha ha ha!"

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