Do you have a hotdog or a hamburger in there???
In my professional opinion about 1% of the general public are androgynous. This is a really polite way of saying I don't know if they typically urinate from an upright or seated position. When I encounter someone like this I find myself staring. Are those breasts or simply man-maries? Is that your wedding tackle in your pants or a well placed item in your pocket? Either way, I hope that you're happy to see me....
I saw someone yesterday who could have easily convinced me that s/he was either a man or a woman. I just had no idea. So I found myself staring. I become so engrossed that I think my mouth opened a little bit and just kind of hung there. (Now you know yet another ugly truth about me. When I think hard I become a mouth breather. Tres sexy, non?)
Anyhoo, after a while I realized that s/he saw me staring and was openly staring right back at me. I wonder if s/he knew why I was checking him/her out. Ok. Let's call her/him Pat so that I don't have to keep worrying about the fucking pronouns. So, I wonder if Pat could tell why I kept staring about crotch level. If it was a man he was probably thinking, "Jeez. Take a fucking picture. These soccer moms are so sad...."
If it was a woman she was probably wondering if she had forgotten to zip her fly. Just like when someone is looking at me and they wipe their nose I immediately wipe mine thinking they are trying to tell me that I have a bat in the cave. And then they, of course, wipe their nose again thinking that I was trying to tell them that they need to hit it again. Back and forth, back and forth until one of us summons the courage to ask, "Do I, um, have something on my nose?" And then the other one will say, "No, do I?" And then we'll both laugh. Good times.
Back to Pat. What I'd really like to know is if Pat actually knows if s/he appears androgynous and enjoys the anonymity that must come along with it. People don't know if they should expect you to play football or to knit doilys so you spend your days doing whatever the hell you want to without worrying about gender expectations. Hmmm.
Here is my humor-blogs link. Click it, please? For me, the annoying mouth breather???