You funny, funny little tax man!

Those IRS guys are just SO funny. Truly hilarious. Stop it...my sides are killing me.... At least I assume that they are joking. I mean, they MUST be joking. They don't really think that after SUFFERING for hours to fill out their ridiculously complicated forms that I'm just dying to give my three dollars to the friggin' Presidential Election Campaign. Right?? RIGHT??!

And am I crazy or would they use this money to do what I DEPLORE, which is run back-to-back advertisements when I'm trying to watch TV and then have recorded messages call my house when I'm doing something really important (like writing this blog)?

Does anybody give money to this? It must be the IRS' extremely feeble attempt at cracking a joke to ease me into the realization that I just paid a shit load of money for my kids to go to the World Famous Georgia Public School System where the motto is, "We're 49th! We're not the worst in the country! Yee haw, ya'll!"

So here is a list of things that I will do BEFORE I ever consider give up my three bucks:

* Purposefully slam my hand in the car door.
* Bite off at least one inch of my tongue.
* Have unprotected sex with a Haitian prostitute.
* Run for President (after the prostitute - obviously).

I hope this clears things up.

The taxation rate at humor-blogs.com is LOW, LOW, LOW. Check 'em out!

Comments

kcar said…

So true! I mean lord forbid they collect for anything worth while like feeding the hungry, cancer research, Aids prevention, school improvements (since my child will be educated in a trailer next year) or actually paying our educators what they are worth. I mean they are only teaching the future of our country. I mean isn't that what my tax money should be going toward anyway?

8:53 PM

Mom said…

I would never give the $3 bucks, how am I to know it goes to what they say? Plus I am so feedup with the Presidental race right now I could puke!!! Are these people really the best America has to offer ???

2:48 PM

Bex said…

Kcar - I agree. They stiff our educators and then want to give the fat cat politicians THREE FUCKING DOLLARS. Actually, since we file jointly they offered us the chance to give six. I'll get right on that (right after I blow a pig out of my ass).

Steph - I know. It's like a small clown car pulled up or something. Maybe you should run....

12:31 PM

And The Winner Is...

I have some very exciting news. For the first time ever the Blog of Bex is giving out an award . Yes, I know. I can feel my heart pounding, too. I will call it the Bite My Ass Award (BMAA) and I'm sure it will be coveted. Now you might be wondering just who will be the lucky recipient. Could it be Diesel, the mastermind of Humor-Blogs and Mattress Police , who - for reasons unknown to me - revamped the scoring system and and reset my score to zero? Nope. This action has actually mysteriously seemed to work in my favor. I'm sure it's temporary. ANYWAY, on to the big news. I hereby give my BMAA to this guy: Handsome little fucker, isn't he? His name is James Jackson, IV and his friends call him Jay. I like to call him Fucktard because I believe that your name should say something about the kind of guy you are. And he's a total fucktard. What, you may wonder, did he do to generate such ire from me? Well I'm so glad you asked. He owns two boutiques in suburban At...

Pervy McPervert strikes again!

When I was a kid I used to make the occasional prank call. But then I turned 13 and decided that it was a fairly retarded way to spend ones time. I've also received a few "heavy breathing" calls in my day. My mom finally bought us a whistle and said that whenever "he" called that we were to blow the whistle as loud as we could into the phone. That worked although I do wish she had specified that before blowing the whistle I should take the receiver away from my head as my ear made this weird ringing noise for days afterward. But it got rid of the pervert. It's a new day, however, and perverts must be looking for new ways to annoy us. Twice today someone has texted a picture to me. I have no idea who he is or what the hell he wants. But he must think that I don't know that sometimes shirtless men squeeze their arms against their chest to give the appearance that they actually have biceps when, in fact, their arms really look like toothpicks that are broke...

Protesting at Funerals: A Look at the Deranged and Demented

I normally like to write about funny things. (At least they are things that I find funny.) They are usually attempts to be funny in a ha-ha kind of way, although sometimes I will throw in something that's funny in a weird way, just to shake things up. But what I want to write about now isn't funny at all. It is shocking and horrific. There was a girl from my home town who was murdered at Auburn University last week. Her name was Lauren Burk and she was 18. She went to our local high school and although I didn't know her many of my friends children did. She's being buried today. Her family is, naturally, heartbroken. It was a random, tragic and violent attack. That's really bad enough. My husband drove by the funeral home yesterday and noticed that there was a small army of Harley Davidson riders holding American flags. They appeared to be guarding the memorial service. It turns out that they were asked to be there to protect the family because a group called the We...

The Blog of Bex

Search This Blog