That Thong Thing
I'm not sure why but this morning I wore thong underwear. Don't worry, I didn't get another tattoo like I did HERE. It might have had something to do with my Laundry Situation which involves all of my clothing being anywhere in the house EXCEPT folded and in my room. But that's another story.
Back to thongs. Wearing one got me wondering about the first person to invent the thong. I imagine a woman sitting on her bed, admiring her favorite underwear. She'd be thinking, "These are almost perfect. But they restrict my outer ass TOO much. And...now that I'm thinking about it I'd like to have my inner ass MORE restricted. In fact I'd like to have the underwear material actually mashed up against my sphincter muscle. That would be PERFECT."
And here we are, centuries later. I wonder if this woman could have envisioned the legions of women who dutifully shove lycra up their butts due to her invention. Strippers, sunbathers, Fat Grannies who have NO business in them but do it anyway to see people try to swallow their own stomach bile at the sight, etc.
Of course, if it was a man who invented the thong his inner monologue was probably more like, "My wife is a total bitch. I'm going to teach her a lesson by mutilating all of her underwear so that she has to wear it shoved up her butt. Tee hee hee!"
Either way, I'm glad that we have them. Sort of. For the most part. Unless I'm doing a lot of walking and then my downstairs area starts feeling a little chaffed. And not in a good way, either.
End of thong story!
So listen. The Blog of Bex is taking a break. Feel free to talk amongst yourselves while I'm gone! And you should totally go by Humor-Blogs! There is some funny stuff there, like, all the time! Bex, OUT