That Thong Thing



I'm not sure why but this morning I wore thong underwear. Don't worry, I didn't get another tattoo like I did HERE. It might have had something to do with my Laundry Situation which involves all of my clothing being anywhere in the house EXCEPT folded and in my room. But that's another story.

Back to thongs. Wearing one got me wondering about the first person to invent the thong. I imagine a woman sitting on her bed, admiring her favorite underwear. She'd be thinking, "These are almost perfect. But they restrict my outer ass TOO much. And...now that I'm thinking about it I'd like to have my inner ass MORE restricted. In fact I'd like to have the underwear material actually mashed up against my sphincter muscle. That would be PERFECT."

And here we are, centuries later. I wonder if this woman could have envisioned the legions of women who dutifully shove lycra up their butts due to her invention. Strippers, sunbathers, Fat Grannies who have NO business in them but do it anyway to see people try to swallow their own stomach bile at the sight, etc.

Of course, if it was a man who invented the thong his inner monologue was probably more like, "My wife is a total bitch. I'm going to teach her a lesson by mutilating all of her underwear so that she has to wear it shoved up her butt. Tee hee hee!"

Either way, I'm glad that we have them. Sort of. For the most part. Unless I'm doing a lot of walking and then my downstairs area starts feeling a little chaffed. And not in a good way, either.

End of thong story!

So listen. The Blog of Bex is taking a break. Feel free to talk amongst yourselves while I'm gone! And you should totally go by Humor-Blogs! There is some funny stuff there, like, all the time! Bex, OUT

Comments

I wear thong underwear too.
lillinda said…
When I was a kid, my cousins from Kansas would come down in the summer and say hilarious thins like,"Wait for me, I have to put on my thongs !" (I am from the deep south.)
We laughed cause everybody here knew them as "flip-flops" !!!
Now if someone was to holler,"wait for me, I have to put on my thongs." We'd all wonder just what she'd been up to !!
Jeff said…
I've never understood why women would want to shove those things up their butts either, but who am I to complain?

Actually, now that I think about it, I did complain about them once here. Oh well, must be the dad in me. ;-)
Marie said…
I think it was the same guy that invented Kegel exercises.
Honjii said…
Thanks for a good laugh. What a great blog you have.

I think thongs were actually created to avoid showing the dreaded panty-line.
Bex said…
Frog - WTF? Dude! You got hacked??? Sorry, man, that totally blows.

Lillinda - hee hee hee...thong shoes...I used to call them that, too, in Florida.

Jeff - Oh, you fathers. I do have to agree that it looks nice. On some people, that is.

Marie - Is it weird that I enjoy kegels? The only problem is that I can't do them in public as it looks like I may crap in my pants. And I don't like looking like that in public.

Honjii - Well thank you! As for the panty lines, when I don't want panty lines I do what nature intended. I don't wear panties! Yep, I find going commando more confy than the lycra in the butt. I always have been kinda funny that way.

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