Hoping for a Housekeeper

I don't have a housekeeper which is unfortunate as I suck at cleaning stuff. And this is why I live vicariously through my friends and neighbors housekeeping experiences. And as soon as someone comes to my blog and spends millions on my Amazon.com link then I'll be able to afford somebody. Ooops. Does that make me sound bitter??? Cuz I'm not. Just click on my humor-blogs link to nowhere and I'll be happy.

Anyway, on to today's topic. There is one lady who cleans for the majority of the neighborhood. She's from Brazil and doesn't speak any English.

The funny thing is that she doesn't speak any Spanish, either. She speaks Portuguese, which is what most people from her country speak. But some folks in my hood just seems to ignore that fact and continue to speak to her in either broken high school Spanish or in slow English that is this loud.

It must kind of suck to be so misunderstood. It's bad enough that scraping your husbands errant urine off of the toilet is in her job description. Of course she always has the option of learning a little bit of English so that she can say,

"Listen, Lady. I have two things to tell you: ONE - I speak PORTUGUESE. Which is NOT Spanish. Which means that when you use pigeon Spanish on me like "como es usted?" I think that that you are sort of stupid and obviously don't give a shit that in my country one would say "como e voce" if they wanted to know how you are today. Also? When you don't speak a language it is not at all helpful to have someone shrieking it at you. I'm not DEAF.

And here is my second issue - tell your pig of a husband that he needs to have his prostate checked as it just isn't possible that a healthy one would be so incapable of actually shooting the urine INTO the toilet. COMPRENDE???"
Still...I'd love to have a housekeeper. Yo quiero...

Here is that helpful little humor-blogs link in case you missed it above.


Bee said…
Ha! It happens at work all the time! They talk to people who don't know English with the loudest of voices. I can translate in Spanish for them and because of my fluency, I can also understand Portuguese and Italian but Polish, German etc., they're on their own!

I'd settle for hiring someone that will do my windows. Especially the ones on the third floor.
kcar said…
Hope hubby is feeling better Bex! My issue with getting a house keeper is that usually your house has to be somewhat clean before they even come. If I could get my house clean enough for the house keeper, I'd actually consider the house clean. My standards as a working mom with 2 kids has become way to low!
Bex said…
Bee - Wow! You're multilingual! I didn't know that. I am still working on my mother tongue. And sometimes when I drink I can speak French. But it's mostly just the 'Merican language for me.

Kcar - Hey! Yes, he's better, thanks. Finally. I was thinking about getting him a bell to ring so he'd stop yelling, "BEX!" I'd be VERY surprised if your standards are lower than mine. I just don't think that's possible.
Nanny Agencies said…
When a person hires a housekeeper, she often asks the housekeeper for a couple of references. The exact duties of a housekeeper are worked out between the employer and the housekeeper when discussing employment terms. In addition to private households, hotels, nursing homes and extended care facilities also hire staff specifically for housekeeping.


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