Hoping for a Housekeeper
I don't have a housekeeper which is unfortunate as I suck at cleaning stuff. And this is why I live vicariously through my friends and neighbors housekeeping experiences. And as soon as someone comes to my blog and spends millions on my Amazon.com link then I'll be able to afford somebody. Ooops. Does that make me sound bitter??? Cuz I'm not. Just click on my humor-blogs link to nowhere and I'll be happy.
Anyway, on to today's topic. There is one lady who cleans for the majority of the neighborhood. She's from Brazil and doesn't speak any English.
The funny thing is that she doesn't speak any Spanish, either. She speaks Portuguese, which is what most people from her country speak. But some folks in my hood just seems to ignore that fact and continue to speak to her in either broken high school Spanish or in slow English that is this loud.
It must kind of suck to be so misunderstood. It's bad enough that scraping your husbands errant urine off of the toilet is in her job description. Of course she always has the option of learning a little bit of English so that she can say,
"Listen, Lady. I have two things to tell you: ONE - I speak PORTUGUESE. Which is NOT Spanish. Which means that when you use pigeon Spanish on me like "como es usted?" I think that that you are sort of stupid and obviously don't give a shit that in my country one would say "como e voce" if they wanted to know how you are today. Also? When you don't speak a language it is not at all helpful to have someone shrieking it at you. I'm not DEAF.Still...I'd love to have a housekeeper. Yo quiero...
And here is my second issue - tell your pig of a husband that he needs to have his prostate checked as it just isn't possible that a healthy one would be so incapable of actually shooting the urine INTO the toilet. COMPRENDE???"
Here is that helpful little humor-blogs link in case you missed it above.