You know who bugs the hell out of me? Giada De Laurentiis. She's a "Celebrity Chef" on www.foodnetwork.com. She speaks perfect English with an American accent. But she's of Italian descent. Fine. Who gives a shit. But there are three things that really bug me about her. And without further ado...
She does have a nice rack though, I have to admit. I wonder how that little neck supports the big head with all of those teeth. She must get her strength from all of the bhpahssstah she's eating.
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PS Before you go and get your knickers in a twist, you should know that I am part Italian. So don't hate on me!
- Every shirt she wears is tight and low cut. OK. We get it. You have tits. Congratulations...
- Her head seems abnormally large.
- Although she speaks English in a normal manner, whenever she says a word of Italian origin she clenches her teeth and throws a heavy Italian accent on it. OK. We get it. You're Italian. Big fucking deal.
She does have a nice rack though, I have to admit. I wonder how that little neck supports the big head with all of those teeth. She must get her strength from all of the bhpahssstah she's eating.
feed: humor-blogs.com
PS Before you go and get your knickers in a twist, you should know that I am part Italian. So don't hate on me!
Comments
also her teeth...you failed to mention her big, giant, white, chicklets for teeth.
Hahahaha! Walking candy apple...hilarious! Where the hell were you when I was trying to get this post pulled together?!
I don't have any of her books but I do, from time-to-time, watch her show. But I am ALWAYS distracted by the aforementioned issues.
Leigh,
Of course we ALL covet her rack. It's...rack-tabulous. And you're right, she DOES have chicklet teeth. (Again, you've made me laugh out loud - SCORE!) But I'll stare at her teeth until the cows come home if I didn't have to hear her screw up the word "mozzarella" again. She's gonna make my ears bleed....
I eat all that stuff, and I don't look like that.
Bitch.
;)
in addition to the enforced precision of her Italian words - she claims to have been born in Italy, and I think she never wears a top that is not uber-revealing of her ample cleavage.
We don't have cable, so I don't really care, but this is the weird thing, I do have satellite radio and she has her own Italian Cooking radio program. Listening to someone moan and oooohhhh, aaaahhhhhh over invisible food is much more annoying than watching it.
I find that if I take Maalox 30 minutes prior to watching her show it helps with the throwing up in the mouth a little. But yeah, me too.
Daniel,
I totally agree. And while we're tearing her apart, it also bugs me that when she peels an onion or garlic it sounds like the microphone is pressed up against the vegetable. I don't need to hear the onion skin being torn off to enhance my cooking show experience. I fucking KNOW what it sounds like!
Cara,
Hi! Well, I'm all about cleavage. BUT when cooking or eating it can be a hazard. Or maybe I'm a slob and it's just me? I'm thinking about calling my Italian aunts and asking if she's even saying those words right. It's just so obnoxious.
EWBL,
She DOES oh and ah a lot! There is even the occasional moan. I can't imagine listening to her on the radio. The next thing you know she'll start whispering in her best come-hither voice, "Ay, Papi!"