New Shampoo


Today I bought New Shampoo. I couldn't wait to come home and use it. (And yes, I know that I'm a total dork.) Anyway, I put the baby down for his nap and hopped in the shower. After wetting my hair I read the back of the shampoo bottle. DID YOU HEAR THAT?? I read the back of the bottle. I realized that I do this every time I buy a new brand of shampoo.

The instructions on my new bottle said, "Apply, lather, rinse." I have a feeling that whoever wrote that wanted to write, "Apply, lather, then rinse. You dumbass. WHAT? You were expecting a different instruction? Like maybe the way you use this product changes from time to time?! It is shampoo, you Tool. Wash your fucking head and then go put your helmet back on."

So. I have revealed myself to you as something less than a mental giant. Fine. But my hair is clean. And it smells really good. Plus? I don't really have to wear a helmet. I just made that up.

I totally have it going on....



Clean hair feed to humor-blogs.

Comments

Shawna said…
thats funny that you mention that because, Aussie shampoo puts funny instructions on their shampoo bottles(i to am guilty of reading the back of the bottle!)

For example my "Catch the Wave" shampoo by aussie states:" IRECTIONS: Apply to wet hair and work it through. Creat a shark fin on the top of your head if you feel like it. then rinse completely, be mindful of the shark of course"

just kinda made me laugh!
Marie said…
I always read the shampoo bottles. I like to read all the ways they can think of to describe the greatness of their product.
Shieldmaiden96 said…
Back in my patchouli days when I washed everything and all my bits with Dr. Bronner's I used to enjoy reading his bottles, which were essentially crazy-guy-on-the-subway rants printed on every label in all directions. Every available inch was covered.

Oh, and you aren't a dork; I went home with Dove Go Fresh grapefruit and lemongrass shampoo the other day and immediately went back to Eckerds to see if the came in soap. It does. It smells wonderful.
Kadi said…
Wait a minute...you got to wash your hair AND had time to read the bottle in the shower? I'm so jealous!
Shawna:
Aussie shampoo gives Erections? Sounds erotic! Better keep it away from the husband. I might never get him outta the shower!
Bex said…
Shawna - I've never tried the shark fin. I'm more of a "slick it back and put it in a bun on top of my head" kind of gal. I do love Aussie, though...

Marie - This product was no exception...apparently ANY MINUTE NOW my hair will become luxuriously soft and tangle free! I'm super duper excited....

Shieldmaiden - The next time I go to the natural store I'm gonna check that out. I love a crazy-guy-on-the-subway rant as much as the next girl! And thanks for thinking I'm not a dork. I am going to print your reply and staple gun it to my husbands pillow!

Kadi - Not only that...I also shaved my legs! It was everything I thought it could be and SO much more! Taking a shower always seems like such a pain in the ass so I procrastinate doing it. But the second I'm done I feel like a million bucks. Well...not a million. A thousand, maybe???
damon said…
My shampoo takes it a step further and hits me with "repeat if desired". I don't ever desire to shampoo after I just freakin did.
Does it make my hair cleaner? or just make me buy shampoo more often?

Sheesh!
Bee said…
I'm never excited about the bottle reading or buying new shampoo.
My favorite part is when I come home from work and put my hair down. It smells like I just got out of the shower.

Also, there should be a warning on the bottle that says:
May cause husband and/or random strangers to want to get in your pants.
I like to scream "LIAR!" at my shampoo choices a lot. They talk a big talk, but so far, I've found very few follow through on their promises. Maybe I'm supposed to "repeat".

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