At the risk of increasing my "Weird-O" and "Pervy" visitors ( - love you guys), I was thinking about writing about breastfeeding today. Because nobody ever tells you the Real Deal about this stuff. And that's just wrong. So. When I was pregnant with my first kid I thought to myself, "Yeah, I'll probably breastfeed her. I mean, I have the hooters and everything, so why not??" Truth be told, I thought that it would be a very natural and beautiful thing that she and I would both embrace with maternal-bondish delight. So imagine my surprise when it HURT like a MOTHER FUCKER. Every time she would latch on my toes would curl in pain. The lactation consultants were very encouraging in a cheerleader kind of way, "Yes!! That's WONDERFUL! Look at that latch - you're a genius!!!" But I didn't feel like a genius. I felt like a moron who just couldn't get the idea without going to some intensive courses on the matter. And my kid seemed...
Like sex, but with a B.
Comments
I wonder if her head is removeable, too?
EWBL, my Barbies were put in similarly compromising positions. And then they would also spend some "quality time" with Ken. For scientific purposes, obviously.
My daughters share a room and they have a big drawer for all of their Barbie crap. I went in there the other day and every sticking one of the dolls was nude and many were missing either a limb or a head. It's like Jeffery Dahmers toy chest in there. Creepy. But not NEARLY as creepy as the 15 minute lunch post that's currently up. Johnny, if you're out there PLEASE make it go away!!