Can I get some FRIES with that SHAKE???


In my early twenties I used to ride my bicycle to college. We lived in South Florida and school was only 7 miles away. It was good exercise, plus, the scenery was gorgeous. The only thing that made my ride uncomfortable was that I had to go past a construction site where a new hotel was going in. Every morning I would hear cat calls, jeers, whistles, and such as I scurried by. The soundtrack in my head was playing the same music that plays in the Wizard of Oz when that bitch takes Toto away from Dorothy. Da na na na na NA na. Anyhoo, I always ignored the construction workers unless they said/did something REALLY gross and then I'd shoot a withering look in their direction.

One day, out of nowhere, I rode by and NOTHING happened. I slowed down thinking, "Um, hello?! It's me...." They looked up and indifferently went back to work. I completed my journey to school with a perplexed expression on my face. "What the fuck?? I thought I looked pretty cute today. I'm even wearing a low cut T-shirt that usually drives them nuts! Maybe they don't like my shorts? Perhaps there is another bike rider who is cuter and they used up all of their comments on her?? WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?"

The next morning I kept my head down as I rolled past them, embarrassed to no longer be worthy of their whistles. A few days went by and I had gotten used to not hearing them. I tried to gracefully accept my new role as the ugly stepsister but secretly I hatred it and wondered where I had gone wrong. And then, just as abruptly as it had gone, the whistles came back. My face lit up and I smiled broadly at the workers. Relieved, I made my way to school where I walked around with a spring in my step.

I can't help but wonder who the first cat-calling construction worker was. Apparently it caught on like gang busters. I also wonder if any woman has ever stopped, turned around and said, "Well Meow to you, too, big fella! Why don't we go get sweaty in that port-o-john of yours??" Years later their kids would ask how they met and their mother will say, "OH, it was SO romantic...I rode by Daddy's construction site and he started making this loud clucking noise...I turned to look at him and THEN he began flicking his tongue at me while wiggling his eyebrows in this suggestive way...I thought to myself 'Now THERE is the man for me...and the rest is history!'.

feed: humor-blogs.com

Comments

David said…
>>>>then he began flicking his tongue

I think that first date and subsequent marriage would depend on his tongue flicking agility.
Anonymous said…
Okay... I thought you had to approve comments before they posted, so the joke's on me. I see my email on your site. Damn. Oh well. Remove it when you can, okay?
Bex said…
David,

Ummm...maybe. But it would have to be REALLY impressive...

Ren,

Hahahahaha!!! That is the funniest thing I've seen all day...I removed it quickly so hopefully you won't start getting strange emails from my readers. But it cracked me up...
Shieldmaiden96 said…
My guess is, a disapproving supervisor/company owner/similar wet blanket was on the site during the time their admiration was on hiatus. Then he/she left.

PS I made meatloaf your way last night. You were right. Off the chain. I'll never put breadcrumbs in a meatloaf again. The leftovers are waiting to please me with their oniony goodness again at lunch.
Funny stuff there Bex. Rickey digs the blog!
Kadi said…
I get lots of whistles..from legally blind, perverted old men. I take what I can get. BTW...where is your bathing suit submission for my new blog???? Get busy lady !!
Bex said…
Shieldmaiden, I'm glad you liked it! It's easy, eh? And, as you pointed out, nice and onion-y.

Rickey, Wow! Thanks!! I like yours, too. One of these days I'm gonna try out your Irish Stew recipe...

Kadi, hola! I'm gonna have to call bullshit on you, though. I've seen your bathing suit picture! You've got it goin' on, girlfriend! I am more likely to send you a picture of me french kissing Elmo than to send you a snap of me in a bikini. But I'll read the new blog!!!
damon said…
I'm pretty sure cat-calling is part of the hiring process. Yeah, most people don't know about this, but they show women on flash cards during the interview and the best "holla" gets the job.

Popular posts from this blog

Every woman's dream - a homemade MacGyver vibrator (with the optional mullet attachment)

Florida: The Good. The Bad. The Holy SHIT!!!

The Dunkin Donuts Dilemna