What the....

What the...I was perusing CNN.com a few minutes ago and found the following story:

A newborn baby girl fell through the toilet in a moving train and onto the tracks moments after her mother prematurely gave birth, surviving nearly two hours before being found, relatives said Thursday.

The child's mother, who uses the single name Bhuri, was traveling with relatives on an overnight train when she went to the bathroom shortly before midnight Tuesday and unexpectedly gave birth to a baby girl, said Arjun Kumar, her brother-in-law.

"Later, she fell unconscious and the baby fell through the toilet," he continued. "Two stations later, we knocked at the door."
SERIOUSLY??? OK. First of all, remind me to NEVER go walking on a train track in India. That's just so gross. What, is there just a brown mound between the tracks in the heavily traveled areas or WHAT?

Second of all, Bhuri doesn't seem like she really has her shit together (pardon the pun. And also? Bless her heart.). If I had been on the train it would have come as a shock to me that anything that goes into the toilet immediately falls onto the train tracks. But I'm going to guess that this wasn't news to her. So, did the baby just spring out of her? I guess she passed out. Still? This is really gross. Not to mention embarrassing. All of the people I know who have passed out on the shitter before don't like to talk about it, never mind have it posted on cnn.com. (You know who you are!!)

I don't know what's more upsetting to me about this story: the fact that a baby fell onto the train tracks from a moving train or that she passed through some kind of tube where the human excrement of thousands had flowed. Ugh...BUT, at least the baby is OK. Let's just hope that, when she gets older, kids don't tease her about it. "She's faster than shit fallin' down a tube!" Kids can be so cruel.


It's a cute little baby, though, eh?

Poor thing. Let's hope that she never again falls through a hole on a train into a pile of shit and has to wait 2 hours for her freaking family to come and get her.

feed: www.humor-blogs.com

PS I keep checking the news to make sure that the baby is going to be ok. She survived and is, I believe, expected to fully recover.


Shieldmaiden96 said…
Could someone please explain to this cowgirl how you unexpectedly give birth? Don't most people have some sort of fanfare ahead of time that suggests they are about to PASS A HUMAN HEAD through an orifice they should have a certain degree of familiarity with? That baby doesn't look all THAT premature....its not like it was super small.
Bex said…
Ummm...yeah. EXACTLY. Who does she think she's kidding, "Oh, I'm not really in labor. I just have to take a monster crap. I'll be back in 5."
Kimberly said…
Green tea just came out of my nose because I pictured a diminutive Indian girl saying "Monster crap". Thanks.
David said…
This falls into that bizarre realm of women who wind up on a news show revealing that they had no idea they were pregnant until they popped a baby out into the toilet thinking she was just constipated.

That is one helleva case of constipation for 9 months.

Everyone I know that passed out or fell into a drunken stupor of sleep on a toilet immediately fell onto the floor which woke them up.

Maybe this was her 7th child so her ho-ha was of gargantuan proportions.
Anonymous said…
Hi, Bex! I love getting comments from new visitors- thanks! We don't live anywhere near Moscow, and I have heard that it is completely different on that side of the country. We're on an island in the far-east just below the Arctic circle, and it is definitely not warm and friendly. The island was used by Stalin as a prison camp, if that tells you anything.
Love your blog, by the way. Any more pics from your perv?
damon said…
How can anyone not know they are pregnant? This is unbelievable.

I'm cutting a hole in the seat of my truck tomorrow.

Freakin ingenious idea.
Bee said…
I don't even know what to say. I know that if I'm in the bathroom for an hour, the hubs will be banging on the door wondering what the hell I'm doin'!
Bex said…
Kimberly, it was certainly my pleasure.

David, I have a friend who is notorious for passing out on public toilets. As the night goes on invariably someone will go, "Hey, what happened to Amy?" And then we'll send a convoy to the cans to check it out. She must have strong glutes, though, because she never falls off.

As for the Indian lady, if her tu-tu is THAT banged up after having kids then I REALLY feel bad for her. Because not only does she now have the notoriety that comes with passing your newborn daughter through a train toilet in India, but she also has to deal with the fact that whenever anyone can't find something (their keys, wallet, bike helmet, or whatever) they'll be looking at her thinking, "Well, did you check for it in...YOU know."

Natalie, Hi! No, my perv has left me alone which kind of sucks because now I don't have anything to write about. As for you...what are you doing on a Stalin-prison camp-styled island? Did ya lose a bet? Like frost-bite and acrimonious people? Have a beet fetish?? WHAT???

Damon, no kidding. Being pregnant is like having an alien invade your body. NOTHING is yours anymore. Boobs that could be entered into the Macy's parade, elbows rolling around and indenting your stomach, burps that seemingly come out of nowhere and don't give you a chance to close your mouth, etc. How someone could be in this state and not seek medical attention for EITHER being pregnant or for an alien extradition is beyond me.

As for the hole in your truck...whatever blows your skirt up, I guess. But you'll probably need a bumper sticker warning those behind you about the possibility of splash back. Or maybe just one that says, "Don't follow me too closely. Seriously. You've been warned." That aught to do it.

Bee, my kids have installed some sort of tracking device that tells them whenever I'm in the bathroom or on the phone. In either case they come out of the fucking woodwork and start banging on the door screaming, "MOM! What are you DOING in there???" Good times...
Staci Schoff said…
I know! I am SO baffled by this. I admit, I prayed both times to have no idea I was pregnant and then be shocked one day when I incidentally peed out a healthy baby -- but seriously, I can't see how this could happen.
kev said…
I'm confused. Where was the stork in all of this?

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