Skip to main content

Work, Love, Dance, Sing and Live

There is a saying I have always loved:
"Work as if you have no money. Love as if you have never been hurt. Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. And live everyday as if it were your last."
I have always thought that it is a wonderful way to live your life. But today I found an exception to one of them. To the blond skinny chick in my aerobics class: Do NOT dance like no one is watching. Because we are. And you look like a dork.

In class I'm a back row kind of gal. Back row, center if I get there on time. That way I can see what's going on and I don't get paranoid that the person behind me is staring at my ass, wondering just how many jelly donuts I had for breakfast. But this blond chick marched right in and stood next to the instructor, about two feet away. That's pretty close in the aerobics world. Every single other person in the room was a deferring 5 feet behind the teacher. But not blondy! Oh, no! She was right there in the action. So I thought, "Well, she's confident. Nothin' wrong with that! Maybe she used to teach this class or something. She's probably really good."

The music starts and suddenly, without any rebel-yell warning blondy starts flailing her arms and throwing her head around. Yikes. It became clear that SOMEONE was going to sustain an injury. Either self inflicted from laughing or from the blond windmill herself. She needed a girlfriend in the class. Someone to say, "Honey, Honey, Honey! You look like a loon! Why don't you just stick some toilet paper on your shoe and smear lipstick on your teeth to complete the image?!" Alas, no such friend spoke up. (Not that I blame her! I would have blended into the background, too.) And besides, that's probably a conversation best left for margarita night. "Hey, Blondy, how's that 'rita? Oh, good, good. Listen, there is something I need to tell you...and it's not going to be easy. So I'm just gonna blurt it out, ok? Alright, here it is: when you dance in aerobics class every other person there either draws back in horror at the sight or snickers about it. I've heard that there is even a blog out there where you are described ... so ... I'm really sorry but you need to reel it in, Sweetie."

The Blog of Bex


I hear that Diesel over at Humor Blogs is a pretty good dancer...check him out!

Comments

Beck said…
Oy, I know just the type. It's not reserved for a blonde tho. Why is it that clueless aerobics class-takers always step right in front of you and proceed to "exercise" like total idiots. Save it when there's more personal space! I don't even want to mention the stealth girl farters. Yes some of them drop big ol' bombs and then walk away. Who knew... sluts.
Bex said…
Hiya, Beck. I only run into stealth girl farters when I'm at the bookstore. Yep, Borders brings them out of the friggin' woodwork. Why? I dunno. But I am now trained, whenever I shop there, to breathe through my mouth. Bitches.
The epileptic seizure-styled dancing wouldn't bother me bit. Mostly because I'd be blinded to my surroundings thanks to the rivulets of sweat pouring into my eyes.
Memarie Lane said…
There was a lady like that at church yesterday. But when I see people do stuff like that I can't help but admire their lack of inhibitions. Even if they look crazy, at least they're doing it, you know? I don't even know if I can dance or not because I'm to embarrassed to try. Even when I'm alone.
Anonymous said…
LOL, what a coincidence, I just used the "dance like nobody's watching" quote on my blog this morning.

Popular posts from this blog

Pervy McPervert strikes again!

When I was a kid I used to make the occasional prank call. But then I turned 13 and decided that it was a fairly retarded way to spend ones time. I've also received a few "heavy breathing" calls in my day. My mom finally bought us a whistle and said that whenever "he" called that we were to blow the whistle as loud as we could into the phone. That worked although I do wish she had specified that before blowing the whistle I should take the receiver away from my head as my ear made this weird ringing noise for days afterward. But it got rid of the pervert. It's a new day, however, and perverts must be looking for new ways to annoy us. Twice today someone has texted a picture to me. I have no idea who he is or what the hell he wants. But he must think that I don't know that sometimes shirtless men squeeze their arms against their chest to give the appearance that they actually have biceps when, in fact, their arms really look like toothpicks that are broke

And The Winner Is...

I have some very exciting news. For the first time ever the Blog of Bex is giving out an award . Yes, I know. I can feel my heart pounding, too. I will call it the Bite My Ass Award (BMAA) and I'm sure it will be coveted. Now you might be wondering just who will be the lucky recipient. Could it be Diesel, the mastermind of Humor-Blogs and Mattress Police , who - for reasons unknown to me - revamped the scoring system and and reset my score to zero? Nope. This action has actually mysteriously seemed to work in my favor. I'm sure it's temporary. ANYWAY, on to the big news. I hereby give my BMAA to this guy: Handsome little fucker, isn't he? His name is James Jackson, IV and his friends call him Jay. I like to call him Fucktard because I believe that your name should say something about the kind of guy you are. And he's a total fucktard. What, you may wonder, did he do to generate such ire from me? Well I'm so glad you asked. He owns two boutiques in suburban At

The Dunkin Donuts Dilemna

I am always amazed when I leave my home in the early hours of the morning and there are people out and about. I can barely see the runners (as the sun isn't yet passed the horizon) but they are hoofing it up the hill. Don't these people know that they should be home - in bed - snuggled up???! So you can imagine my surprise when, at 6AM, I saw the impressive line at my local Dunkin Donuts. But we were heading out of town on a road trip with 3 little kids (all under 8) and a 2 month old puppy. I know what you are thinking...WHY??! We very anxiously wanted to travel for a little bit of more pain - AKA my 20th High School reunion. Maybe more on that later... As if this all weren't bad enough, my husband and I had been to a party the night before and I had just the slightest headache. So I needed coffee and like all reasonable people I went to the Dunkin Donuts because their coffee is THE BEST coffee anywhere! Starbucks can kiss my lilly white! But I digress... So I get in the l