Pervy McPervert strikes again!

When I was a kid I used to make the occasional prank call. But then I turned 13 and decided that it was a fairly retarded way to spend ones time.

I've also received a few "heavy breathing" calls in my day. My mom finally bought us a whistle and said that whenever "he" called that we were to blow the whistle as loud as we could into the phone. That worked although I do wish she had specified that before blowing the whistle I should take the receiver away from my head as my ear made this weird ringing noise for days afterward. But it got rid of the pervert.

It's a new day, however, and perverts must be looking for new ways to annoy us. Twice today someone has texted a picture to me. I have no idea who he is or what the hell he wants. But he must think that I don't know that sometimes shirtless men squeeze their arms against their chest to give the appearance that they actually have biceps when, in fact, their arms really look like toothpicks that are broken in the middle.


So there he is in all of his glory. Other than recommending that he trim his bush and go bother someone else (as I am Very Busy and don't have the time/inclination to interact with someone who text messages pantless photos of himself to total strangers) I don't know what to do with this guy. Any suggestions?

I'm thinking that the choices are:

A) Let my 6'1" 250 pound husband handle it.
B) Call the cops.
C) Ignore it.
D) ???

So let me know what you think. Perhaps His Supreme Blogmaster, Diesel, could help get rid of this guy? I'll put the link to Humor-Blogs just in case...


An update:

Today I've received, thus far, 4 pictures from this guy. He sent the one above twice and then two new ones. In the interest of full disclosure here they are...


So...uh...crazy stalker guy...THANKS for what appears to be an invitation to...something...but, uh...I'm gonna have to pass. My loss, I'm sure.

Comments

Daniel said…
I don't do the texting thing so I don't know but maybe you could forward it to the police and CC him on the message?

He's not all that so may he has lots of free time, what with no social life and no friends.
Kadi said…
Oh...my...gawd! Nasty, creepy and waaaaaay too bushy. People are freaks.
blujeanbaby2009 said…
OMG I've gotten that before too, except my pervert sadly did not have pants on. I just deleted it cuz I was scared he would send more if I responded lol. And why is it always guys who are less than hott? If ur gonna send random pics to ppl, at least look good in them!!
Bex said…
Daniel - Well, I'm up to 4 pictures he's sent thus far today. I called my cell phone provider and told them what was going on. They wanted me to call the guy and tell him to leave me alone. I guess this would be a good thing to do IF he had sent the pictures to me by accident...but what if he's a creepy stalker?? As for going to the cops, I'm not sure if what he's doing is illegal as there isn't a "money shot" (THANKFULLY).

Kadi - I think I'm even MORE offended because he is unkempt in his shorts. WTF does he think this is - the 70's?! People trim that shit now.

bluejeanbaby - waz up? I totally agree about the not hot thing...he's like Erkel, The Later Years.
Natalie said…
I heard about your weirdo over at Kadi's blog...holy crap! That guy is Neanderthal from the waist down! I think I'd give him a call and ask if he's meaning to send those pics to you. At least then you'd know what kind of perv you're dealing with.
Bee said…
You should send a picture of your husband. Maybe he can do a kissy face so the perv can freak out.
Unless he's into that...
leigh said…
bwahahaha!

i once had someone text me and accuse me of ignoring them even though we dated in jr. high - last year. obviously a case of mistaken identify.

i say give your little friend a taste of his own medicine - a big hairier (sp?) guy.
Daniel said…
I didn't really think the pic was obscene, creepy yes, but it is annoyoing and perhaps in violation of something

But my real thinking was to scare him off by letting him think the police would become involved.

You know, psychological manipulation and all that.
Marie said…
Take a pic of a big fat guy slurping down a Big Mac at McDonald's and send it to him.
Bex said…
OK...so I need to visit the Golden Arches in search of a fat, hairy and grotesque man (shouldn't be THAT hard). I'll wait until he drops his keys and snap a picture of his pasty, hairy and voluptuous ass pouring out of his 3 sizes-too-small-jeans to send to our favorite pervert.

I will make every attempt to psychologically manipulate him right out of my cell phone! With his little puffy crotch...who the hell does he think he is, anyway???
Cara said…
Seriously, Bex.... that amount of pubic hair is so 1995. Holy crap!!!! :) I definitely think you need to find out his name. Then you can add it to this post so that when he gets googled after his next job interview, the employer ends up here.
Cara said…
Oh, PS. I like how he adds the glasses for his bush shots. Very naught-librarian.
We had that obscene phone call problem when I was a teen. I handled it in my own way.....I totally frustrated the wannabe perv with my ineptitude!

Here's the transcript
In the days before Caller ID I had this blind friend who liked to prank call us. That's what happens when you're blind and you can't watch TV so you don't have anything to do. Anyway, she kept calling and my mom knew it was her, somehow. My mom answered and said, "Kristi, I know this is you. I've had my line tapped and monitored and Secret Service agents are at your door RIGHT NOW!!!"

It freaked her out bad. I know because I heard her talking about it in the cafeteria the next day. :)
Qelqoth said…
Look on the bright side. That last image looks like he's using his mobile phone to search for the "Enlarge Object" feature.
Bex said…
Cara, What's up, Middle Sister?? I agree, the glasses do add...something... to those uncomfortably-bushy- pants-are-falling-down shots.

Elastic Band Lady, I think that men secretly enjoy being kicked in the ding-ding from time to time. When I was a kid the height of hilarity was to order a Domino's pizza that would be sent to either a teacher or a neighbors home. My strong preference was to a neighbors because then you could watch the delivery boy get pissed off and peel out of the neighborhood. Ah, such simple pleasures.

Qelqoth, GOOD point! I think that must have been the reason why he never gave us the money shot! He didn't want to display his frightened turtle for the world to see. Poor little guy...
Staci Schoff said…
Ewwww! Oh my god that has never happened to me, but I think outing him on the internet is the most perfect thing you can do. Too bad you can't figure out his full name and send them to his mother or something.
Bex said…
Hey, Staci. Something tells me that his mother already knows he's a pervy freak anyway. She's probably washed more sticky sheets and socks that had been "glued" together than she knew what to do with...

But it would be pretty funny if, years later (well after he forgets the number he sent them to), someone says, "Hey!!! I remember you - I saw creepy pictures of you on someones blog! So, did you ever trim your bushy crotch???"
lillinda said…
Look again. I think it's a THONG !!
Men in thongs are just Yukky !!
Lil
Miss J said…
Oh. My. God. What IS that, a floor mat from a compact car?
honjii said…
EWWWW! I hope the guy has given up by now. If it were me I would make the guy a MySpace page, posting all pics he sends, his phone number and any other info I could garner from his uninvited messages.
Bex said…
Lillinda - I've studied the pictures extensively. And I disagree about your thong hypothesis. I think the little line there is a stomach muscle.

Miss J - It could be. Or maybe it's a misapplied fur stole. Yech....

Honjii - Yep, as quickly as they came, they also went. Thank god. Although it made for one of my favorite blog entries, so in that regard I guess I'm grateful to the hairy little guy.
Jormengrund said…
I don't understand..

He's the TOTAL metrosexual beast, and you're going to turn him down??

I mean, the glasses along with the supposed glass of vino should take away at least some (maybe a little) of the horror of the wild and untamed bush down under..

I mean, how bad can the guy be if he dresses like a librarian, and pretends to be an upstanding socialite by drinking wine??

I say that you just pretend to keep him as a potential fling, but never respond. That way, you can get the gossips to talk by giving some made up juicy details about some tryst to a total ho-bag you know, and then giggle insanely when you start hearing the rumors run through!

I do this all the time, and I get endless amounts of chuckle time for it. Sure, it does tend to make me look like a total perv, but hell, I'm a guy, and that just increases my standing in the male dominance world!

Who knows, he might be better ammo for your blog later on! Farm that shit out!!

I'm out.

Popular posts from this blog

Every woman's dream - a homemade MacGyver vibrator (with the optional mullet attachment)

Florida: The Good. The Bad. The Holy SHIT!!!

The Dunkin Donuts Dilemna