Why is it that kids don't realize it when they are getting ready to vomit? When I'm nauseous I feel like shit for at least 10 hours before yakking.

Today I was driving around with three kids in my backseat (yes, I know, I was begging for it). Suddenly I heard something violently strike the back of my seat. It was a funnel of death. My sweet six year old daughter was at its' epicenter and she literally never even took her hands out of her pockets to perform this travesty. She puked on the back of my seat, filling the floor and my babies diaper bag. She also coated herself and the seat belt. I drove home with great haste, kind of like I had a nuclear bomb on board.

When we got home I turned to look at her. Licking her lips...check. Hands still in pocket...check. Other two siblings staring at her with something between horror and respect...check. Seat belt hermetically sealed to sweater...check. A smell so bad that the back of my neck began to sweat and itch...check and check.

Time to call it a night, folks. Who the hell knows what tomorrow will bring. Let's hope that "projectile" is not in the headline.


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