Things I've learned today:

I've learned that my dog can, does and will literally lick the snot out of a 2 year olds runny nose. I've learned further that both parties seem to find this activity deeply enriching. I may never sleep again. And I will DEFINITELY never again have oysters.

I've also learned today that both Traci Lords and I will turn 40 this year. I'm not sure why I find this so staggering...but I do.

I've learned that I think that every single politician in this country is either a big fat liar or a piece of shit. The scariest ones are those who are lying pieces of shit. They are the kind who would sell their mother to get elected to whatever office they want. It's depressing. In fact, just typing this paragraph has made me want to eat something unhealthy and go to bed. Sigh.

Lastly, and I think we can all agree that this comment has no business being in this blog entry (yet I push forward AT ALL COSTS), I find myself wondering why some women put enormous bows in their daughters' hair. What the hell is UP with that? I saw a 4 year old running around with a bow the size of my wallet on her head. She looked like she might fall over at any point from the sheer weight of it. I've heard the phrase "bow girl" thrown around lately. In fact, I was chatting with another parent at my kids' school and she said something like, "Well, you don't seem like the kind of mom who'd have Bow Girls." And I was pleased that she noticed. My chest kind of bowed out and I nodded sagely, "It's true. We don't really 'do' bows in my house." And then I smiled a little smile the whole way home, reassured that I haven't completely fucked my kids up because I don't tie enormous bows around their heads.

Huh. I think it may be time for sleep. I've stopped making sense to myself. Crikes. The next thing you know I'll be in a Scientology video talking about why when I, the fake scientologist, drive by an accident I HAVE to stop - not like "regular" people - because I am the ONLY ONE who could really DO anything. Obviously.


Marie said…
I think the bows are cute (but not those huge curly ones with all the glittery things), but I don't actually put any on my daughter. Because I'm just too freaking lazy. So I guess in my case the deficiency of bows is quite telling.
Bex said…
You know, I think that they are cute too. Just in a "this is a life style you'll never have and in truth probably don't want" kind of way. The bow girls are always in smocked dresses and never have meatball stains on them. I guess we just don't roll that way.

Both of my girls have very long hair but we are strictly a pigtail / french braid kind of family. For us I'd say it's part laziness and part realization that my girls would loose them faster than I could buy them and I don't think we really need yet ANOTHER expensive, pointless habit around here.

Thanks for the comments, Marie! I've seen you skulking around the humor blogs site. Good times...!

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