Nobody Ever Expects a Bat Attack!

I'm truly not one to brag on myself. But I have to say, I'm feeling pretty good. I had a really nasty tummy bug the other day and lost a few pounds. And yesterday I had my hair done (got some sassy highlights, too!) which always makes me happy. So today I woke up and was inspired to put on makeup AND a bra - and it's not even my anniversary!

My husband and I had fun with the kids today and ended things up with a wienie roast in the backyard. I loved it and was feeling great. Until Thing One - my first born - said, "Ugh, Mommy. You have a Bat. In the Cave. Gross. It's really big."

In case you are unfamiliar with our vernacular, a "bat in the cave" means that you have a booger that is technically in your nose but is visible to anyone within 500 feet.

I've never been known for my huge ego. And it has been suggested to me that I could possibly suffer from Low Self Esteem. But I never thought I'd see the day when an 8 year old suggesting that I have a mammal in my nose (when in fact I do NOT have a mammal in my nose) could make me feel SO low SO fast.

The worst part came when I looked into the mirror and confirmed, for the record, that I did indeed have a ginormous bat in the cave. So I did the only thing I could. I blew my nose and reapplied my lip gloss. And then I went in search of a third glass of wine. :)

www.rqmitchell.blogspot.com

Comments

Mom said…

OMG I was howling when I read your post Too funny nothing like your child to tell it like it is. My 5 year old said to me at Costco this weekend "mommy your spending to much " I still swear her father told her to say that but he says he had nothing to do with it.

Love the blog keep it coming!

12:16 PM

Bex said…

At least it's hard to get a big ego when you have little ones chronically debating your shortcomings. We went on a family trip to the zoo Sunday and I felt like the kids were looking at me suspiciously as we strolled passed the Orangatans. Like they had found my long lost twin or something.

I remember, back when I used to nurse the little guy, the girls would walk into my bathroom when I was showering and just STARE. I felt like an exhibit at the zoo.

11:25 AM

Florida: The Good. The Bad. The Holy SHIT!!!

So you know...I live in Florida now. The good news is that my southern accent is stronger than ever - I think it was some sort of defense mechanism...of or for what, I have no idea. I definitely miss Atlanta and my friends, though, especially now. Spring in Atlanta is SO beautiful. But Florida is pretty nice, too. We go to the beach at least once a week and we all love having a pool in the backyard. Also, my husband makes me a Planter's Punch every night and I don't even feel guilty by knocking it back - we're on vacation, right?? A couple of weeks ago I was reading the news and saw this weird picture: In case your eyes can't make sense of it, I'll give you a hint. It's not a puppy. I'm guessing it's not an air freshener, either. It is, in fact, a Burmese Python that ruptured and now has a really big dead Alligator sticking out of it's stomach. Oh, and something ate the snakes head off. That's why there is no head there. National Geographic has

Oooohhh...I just LOVE when you wrap it around me... do it again, please?

I had heard that "crack" kills. I just never really believed it until I saw it with my own eyes. (Bless his heart.) About 3 years ago I was 6 months pregnant and had two daughters (aged 4 and 5). We were all traveling from Bellingham, WA to Atlanta, GA with a VERY brief layover in Dallas. We were booked on a major airline that should remain anonymous as they are a bunch of asshats (but they rhyme with "Mamerican Mairlines") and we had to leave for the airport at 3:30 AM in order to catch our 7AM flight. It was Suck City. By the time our car arrived in Seattle my husband and I were barely speaking to each other and the girls had marks on their faces and arms from the backseat smack-down they had while out of our reach. When I went to the counter to speak with the representative she informed me that even though our seats had been purchased many months ago and seat assignments had been given all of that had changed and we were no longer sitting together as a family. I

Pervy McPervert strikes again!

When I was a kid I used to make the occasional prank call. But then I turned 13 and decided that it was a fairly retarded way to spend ones time. I've also received a few "heavy breathing" calls in my day. My mom finally bought us a whistle and said that whenever "he" called that we were to blow the whistle as loud as we could into the phone. That worked although I do wish she had specified that before blowing the whistle I should take the receiver away from my head as my ear made this weird ringing noise for days afterward. But it got rid of the pervert. It's a new day, however, and perverts must be looking for new ways to annoy us. Twice today someone has texted a picture to me. I have no idea who he is or what the hell he wants. But he must think that I don't know that sometimes shirtless men squeeze their arms against their chest to give the appearance that they actually have biceps when, in fact, their arms really look like toothpicks that are broke

The Blog of Bex

Search This Blog