Skip to main content

News Flashing

Ugh. I just read the news headlines today. And now I'm SO depressed. Jeez...Heath Ledger is dead??? WTF??? Dude didn't even make it to 30. That really sucks. Oh, and speaking of sucking, can we talk politics for a minute? Oh! Wait, I forgot...I'd rather slam one of my hooters in a car door. (And yes, ladies and gentlemen, I've nursed three babies. It can be done.)

My disdain for all things political aside, there was a funny clip this week. I don't know if it hit the mainstream media or not but, as I live in Atlanta, Martin Luther King Day is a big deal around here. There was a celebration in Dr. Kings church (Ebenezer Baptist Church) and sitting behind the podium was our favorite First Gentleman Hopeful, Bill Clinton. Who fell asleep. It reminded me of any class I took in high school and college that pertained to math. The chin resting in an open hand. Elbow, on the arm rest. Head, occasionally nodding. Eyes, closed (although every now and then you could see that the eye brows were trying to pull them open). The only thing missing was the head snapping back in an impromptu snore. That would have been awesome. I wonder if he was dreaming about the I Have A Dream speech during his nap. That would have been ironic, no?

It makes me wonder what Kanye West would say. And in case you don't follow rap and hip hop like Yours Truly, he's the guy who shocked the hell out of Mike Myers by stating, "George Bush doesn't care about black people" during a televised fundraiser for those who lost their homes in Katrina. George W. is probably thinking, "Oh REALLY. I don't like black people! That's RICH. At least I didn't take a nap during a celebration of the life of Dr. Martin Luther King!!"

This picture was taken right after Kanye said it. I felt like I could literally see the color drain from Mikes's face. "ehhhh...hmmmm?" Classic.

The last thing I read in the news was about something that transpired in Australia. A guy was looking for Crocodile eggs (seriously...WHY???). It really shouldn't have been much a surprise to anyone when he was attacked by a Crocodile. The funny thing is that his friend came to his rescue. I guess in all of the excitement that goes along with watching your mate get chewed on this guy got a little careless and shot his friend with a gun. While a Crocodile was trying to EAT him. This, my friends, is when it's time to go home. The party is over. It's officially a Bad Day.

I must admit, though, the friend did EXACTLY what I would have done in the same situation.

Step 1: point your loaded gun at the crocodile.
Step 2: Squeeze your eyes shut tightly.
Step 3: Fire off every available bullet in the animals general direction while screaming an incoherent stream of obscenities.


In my quest to find a scary picture of a crocodile to show you guys I found this little gem. If it weren't for the pink silk pants and blouse ensemble (with gold trim) I'd swear this guy was from the South. His last words MUST have been, "HEY! Watch THIS!!!" Again...WHY? Did he lose something? Perhaps he just had to know if the email he received about crocs having wicked halitosis was just an urban legend?

Comments

Bee said…
oh my god!! I thought I was the only one that had caught the Kanye Mike thing since nobody ever knows what I'm talking about! I kept rewinding my DVR and watching it over and over!

Popular posts from this blog

Pervy McPervert strikes again!

When I was a kid I used to make the occasional prank call. But then I turned 13 and decided that it was a fairly retarded way to spend ones time. I've also received a few "heavy breathing" calls in my day. My mom finally bought us a whistle and said that whenever "he" called that we were to blow the whistle as loud as we could into the phone. That worked although I do wish she had specified that before blowing the whistle I should take the receiver away from my head as my ear made this weird ringing noise for days afterward. But it got rid of the pervert. It's a new day, however, and perverts must be looking for new ways to annoy us. Twice today someone has texted a picture to me. I have no idea who he is or what the hell he wants. But he must think that I don't know that sometimes shirtless men squeeze their arms against their chest to give the appearance that they actually have biceps when, in fact, their arms really look like toothpicks that are broke

And The Winner Is...

I have some very exciting news. For the first time ever the Blog of Bex is giving out an award . Yes, I know. I can feel my heart pounding, too. I will call it the Bite My Ass Award (BMAA) and I'm sure it will be coveted. Now you might be wondering just who will be the lucky recipient. Could it be Diesel, the mastermind of Humor-Blogs and Mattress Police , who - for reasons unknown to me - revamped the scoring system and and reset my score to zero? Nope. This action has actually mysteriously seemed to work in my favor. I'm sure it's temporary. ANYWAY, on to the big news. I hereby give my BMAA to this guy: Handsome little fucker, isn't he? His name is James Jackson, IV and his friends call him Jay. I like to call him Fucktard because I believe that your name should say something about the kind of guy you are. And he's a total fucktard. What, you may wonder, did he do to generate such ire from me? Well I'm so glad you asked. He owns two boutiques in suburban At

The Dunkin Donuts Dilemna

I am always amazed when I leave my home in the early hours of the morning and there are people out and about. I can barely see the runners (as the sun isn't yet passed the horizon) but they are hoofing it up the hill. Don't these people know that they should be home - in bed - snuggled up???! So you can imagine my surprise when, at 6AM, I saw the impressive line at my local Dunkin Donuts. But we were heading out of town on a road trip with 3 little kids (all under 8) and a 2 month old puppy. I know what you are thinking...WHY??! We very anxiously wanted to travel for a little bit of more pain - AKA my 20th High School reunion. Maybe more on that later... As if this all weren't bad enough, my husband and I had been to a party the night before and I had just the slightest headache. So I needed coffee and like all reasonable people I went to the Dunkin Donuts because their coffee is THE BEST coffee anywhere! Starbucks can kiss my lilly white! But I digress... So I get in the l