Skip to main content

What a difference a day makes.

Yesterday morning I was worried about our family holiday cards. I was mad at myself for not having taken the time to get some made for the family and friends we hold so dear.

But I'm not worried about it anymore. Because I now have a different perspective. Yesterday afternoon my 6 year old daughter was running down my driveway and fell and hit her head. The next thing I know we were in an urgent care center where we were having trouble keeping her awake. The ambulance came, strapped her to a board with a neck brace and whisked us off to Scottish Rite Children's Hospital which, by the way, is the fucking bomb [IBT (I beseech thee) please see note below]. They even have a free car valet service because they KNOW that when someone has a sick kid the last thing they want to do is fuck around with parking the car.

She had a CT scan which gave us good news. She does indeed have a brain, the brain is intact and there weren't any fractures or hemorrhaging. It was just a concussion. Whew. My home girl, B, had followed the ambulance and then brought us home when we were discharged. And when we got home Don had a peanut butter and honey sandwich for my daughter and Cosmo's for B and I. I'm telling you, the man is a super stud. One of a kind. Plus he smells good. What more could you want?

So maybe I'll get some cards out and maybe I won't. But my people know I love them. And I know that they love me. And it is ALL good.

http://www.rqmitchell.blogspot.com/

*IBT note: I've recently received a phone call from a loyal reader regarding this entry. This person is like a mother to me. In fact, it WAS my mother. And she was taking me to task because I said that Scottish Rite Children's Hospital was the fucking bomb. She was wondering just what kind of monster she had reared. Why would I disparage the good name of a wonderful medical facility where my many children had each, at one time or another, received superlative treatment??? What was WRONG with me? WHY would I say it was the fucking bomb???

I explained to her that it was a compliment. And then we jumped right into Bomb 101: A Bomb Vs. THE Bomb. If one were to state that something was "A fucking bomb" that would imply that it sucked. To state that something is "The fucking bomb" is a good thing. When someone eats my meatloaf and says, "Man. That was the fucking bomb!" Then I know they liked it. If someone were to eat it and then tell me, "Man. That was a fucking bomb." Then I know that they spent 12-24 hours on or near a toilet regretting having eaten it.

I suppose this is the vernacular of a new generation. I am feeling...something...it just may be SHAME. Shame that I could navigate the differences of something being A Fucking Bomb verses The Fucking Bomb in my sleep but I'm pretty sure that if I were to take an open book test right now I couldn't find the area of triangle if my life depended upon it. At least I make good meatloaf. It's the fucking bomb!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Pervy McPervert strikes again!

When I was a kid I used to make the occasional prank call. But then I turned 13 and decided that it was a fairly retarded way to spend ones time. I've also received a few "heavy breathing" calls in my day. My mom finally bought us a whistle and said that whenever "he" called that we were to blow the whistle as loud as we could into the phone. That worked although I do wish she had specified that before blowing the whistle I should take the receiver away from my head as my ear made this weird ringing noise for days afterward. But it got rid of the pervert. It's a new day, however, and perverts must be looking for new ways to annoy us. Twice today someone has texted a picture to me. I have no idea who he is or what the hell he wants. But he must think that I don't know that sometimes shirtless men squeeze their arms against their chest to give the appearance that they actually have biceps when, in fact, their arms really look like toothpicks that are broke

And The Winner Is...

I have some very exciting news. For the first time ever the Blog of Bex is giving out an award . Yes, I know. I can feel my heart pounding, too. I will call it the Bite My Ass Award (BMAA) and I'm sure it will be coveted. Now you might be wondering just who will be the lucky recipient. Could it be Diesel, the mastermind of Humor-Blogs and Mattress Police , who - for reasons unknown to me - revamped the scoring system and and reset my score to zero? Nope. This action has actually mysteriously seemed to work in my favor. I'm sure it's temporary. ANYWAY, on to the big news. I hereby give my BMAA to this guy: Handsome little fucker, isn't he? His name is James Jackson, IV and his friends call him Jay. I like to call him Fucktard because I believe that your name should say something about the kind of guy you are. And he's a total fucktard. What, you may wonder, did he do to generate such ire from me? Well I'm so glad you asked. He owns two boutiques in suburban At

The Dunkin Donuts Dilemna

I am always amazed when I leave my home in the early hours of the morning and there are people out and about. I can barely see the runners (as the sun isn't yet passed the horizon) but they are hoofing it up the hill. Don't these people know that they should be home - in bed - snuggled up???! So you can imagine my surprise when, at 6AM, I saw the impressive line at my local Dunkin Donuts. But we were heading out of town on a road trip with 3 little kids (all under 8) and a 2 month old puppy. I know what you are thinking...WHY??! We very anxiously wanted to travel for a little bit of more pain - AKA my 20th High School reunion. Maybe more on that later... As if this all weren't bad enough, my husband and I had been to a party the night before and I had just the slightest headache. So I needed coffee and like all reasonable people I went to the Dunkin Donuts because their coffee is THE BEST coffee anywhere! Starbucks can kiss my lilly white! But I digress... So I get in the l