Holiday Cards

I've been receiving holiday cards for about a month now. Beautiful and coordinated cards with thoughtful and kind comments written to us. When I received the first one I was stunned. These guys MUST have prepared this thing in October! I even got one where the picture was taken in Zermatt, wherever the hell that is. I thought back, guiltily, about the drawer in my office that contains the Christmas cards I had made last year but never got around to mailing. Ooops.

And here it is, one week from Christmas and I haven't even thought about sending cards. Well, I've thought about it. I've thought about mailing last years cards with the 2006 crossed out. I've thought about scrambling to get my kids together to take a picture of them so I can slap something together but...all of the cards I've received have the children in coordinated outfits. I have similar outfits for my kids to wear, of course, and as soon as I can budge the laundry door open I'll be sure to locate them. Then I'll need to pretreat the stains they surely have and wash them on the gentle cycle. After that I will, naturally, forget that they are in the washer for a few days and will eventually wonder what that moldy smell is that's creeping out of the laundry room. So I'll need to wash them again. They might actually go through this process a few times but that's ok as the stains will be more likely to fade with repeated washings.

It will take me a few minutes to roll the kids' sleeves up (as they will now be too short due to the repeated and frantic washings), but I'll finally have somewhat clean outfits for them and will line my little guys up around the Christmas tree. Don won't be happy because my 2 year old is going through...well, let's call it a phase...he LOVES to wear my leopard print stiletto heels. Anytime a camera is produced he dashes off to my closet to find them. And yes, I have the pictures to prove it.

To add to the "je ne sais quoi" quality of our esteemed Family Holiday Card, my 6 year old daughter has her very first black eye. She was twirling in the living room, got dizzy (just like I said she would) and bounced her head off of the coffee table a few days ago. She grew a lump on the bridge of her nose the size of an almond and then we have the shiner that is still swollen so her eye doesn't quite open up all the way. That should look pretty in her crushed velvet dress.

My 8 year old daughter is fine, although the picture will probably depict her looking towards the sky. This isn't an indication of a pious personality, it's because she chronically rolls her eyes (and sighs deeply) whenever her dad or I are around. I can really feel the love (burning a hole right through my epidermal layer).

And it wouldn't be a Family Holiday Card without Honey, our puppy. You'll know it's her because of the puddle she's sitting on as whenever Don addresses her directly she squirts out a little submissive pee. It must be great to be the alpha male.

Fa la la la la, la la, la la!


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